Thank you.

A word of encouragement during a failure is worth more than an hour of praise after success.
--Anonymous

While home for Christmas my dad found out my results of my Lt.'s exam. I got exactly the response I expected from him. He gave his disappointed face and said absolutely nothing at all. We all sat in silence afterward.

Thanks to all of you that sent me comments or emails or had random conversations with me. The quote above is 100% true. You guys are my support system and I wouldn't trade you for anything. Although I didn't get to thank all of you personally, thank you. Because of you, I didn't have any problem telling my dad I was "dead last" and was proud of it. It didn't matter what he said or thought after that. I don't need his pats on my back when it makes "him" look good. I needed you guys.

Another no go.

The miracle drug Amitiza is no miracle for me. After a week of taking the samples, I'm in the same spot I've been for months. (I give the saying "you're full of shit" a whole new meaning!) I just spoke with my doctor and yet again, we are going down a new pathway of treatment.

The doctor now has two new ideas as to what could be wrong. (Where is Dr. House when you need him!?) Of course, I am like my patients that annoy me---the ones that take medicines but don't know why or are getting ready for procedures but have no idea what it's for. Anywho, tomorrow I have to schedule another test (I can't remember the name) where I have to swallow a series of pills, then for the next few days I will have to get xrays to determine where exactly the pills end up. His one theory is my colon don't move which leaves everything to sit. His other theory is that I have an issue with my pelvic wall. I do remember that condition ending with "disease" but of course, I have no idea what it was. I need to take notes when I talk to him. With the pelvic wall issue, he thinks everything makes its way to the poop shoot, but it can't get out because the muscles have gotten weak or aren't working for some reason or there is a new alternate route where everything hangs out for a while.

With this conversation, he started to sound a little more serious or concerned. I don't know if up til this point he thought I was just a scared girl who thinks she's got cancer because Gramma did. But today he sounded like he's being a little more aggressive. He still wants me to get the Lactulose Hydrogen breath test done next week. The doctor said there still could be bacteria in my small intestines that needs to be treated, but even if that's the case, my symptoms are not proportionate to that condition.

Tonight, he called in a prescription for some suppositories and mag citrate (ew) so I can get everything out of me. (Screw a book, I'm going to need to get a flat screen put in my bathroom or something. Although Brian did get me a Nintendo DS for Xmas--wonderful timing!!) Tomorrow, I have to schedule the xray test. The doctor told me if it turns out to be the colon or pelvic issue, "we'll definitely have to get that treated soon....." but tiptoed around what the treatment is. (We'll just test you and then discuss treatment.) I'm sure its not just with a pill. I don't think I'm going to like a surgery where my butt is involved or where I'm not going to eat. I have my priorities you know. :)

And so the never ending saga continues. And with great timing, as usual.

Oh, did I mention my sister's getting married Saturday at 5pm? I hope treatments/testing don't screw those travel plans up.

The newest addition to my cabinets

Meet my new mug:

My partner had to make a stop at REI yesterday to return something, so that left me wandering aimlessly around the store. Usually everything is crazy expensive in there, but I found this beaut sitting next to a sexy stainless steel wine glass. (You deserve only the best when you are roughing it in the wilderness.) I looked at it thinking, "wow, that's weird." But then I thought, "Oh no you're not. You are wonderful. You are thermal and on your behind you have distinctly marked how many ounces you can hold." Perfect for making hot chocolate from an instant pack....helps me keep track of my fluid intake.....keeps it warm when its cold out. How could I better spend $4.95? I don't think I can. Well, at least yesterday afternoon I didn't think so.

I love it

I love www.thedailyplate.com . Its wonderful. Very similar to WW, especially the online features, but its from a different perspective. Instead of points, we count calories. Instead of just calories, fat and fiber, we look at everything including sodium and vitamins. It lets me know how many more calories I can eat for the day to stay within my recommeded calories. Sounds dumb, but seeing how many calories I could eat was much more of a scare tactic than points are. It kept me from eating a doughnut this morning. And this afternoon, it caused me to order a large salad with my pizza slice to help fill me. Plus I needed more fiber. It charts everything. The activity list (similar to AP's) is endless. I swear they have everything up to breathing on it.

I think I'll do well on this. It even gave me a "prize" for logging in three days in a row. How nice. I like prizes.

I intentionally did not weigh in this morning, so don't expect to see my weight chart this week. I didn't want to be discouraged by the obvious gain from this weeks cookies. But, I'm well on my way to having a successful week.

Good luck to Laura at round 2 of WW. It takes some willpower, but I know she has it in her.

We are living in a cookie house

I love my sister. She's going to make me fat, but I love her. She made ALL of the cookies my mom used to make when we were little. Even the mint chocolate chip cookies! My new favorites are ricotta cookies. I could drool just thinking about them. But, she made like a gazillion of them. At least a gazillion. Maybe a gazillion and a half. Oh, they were so good. Brian and I pinky swore about three hours ago we're not eating anymore. If my mom forces us to take some home, we'll take them, but freeze them or take them to work where they will be devoured in minutes. We pinky swore and you can't lie on a pinky swear.

Brian and I went to Laura and Blaze's house tonight. It is so relaxing to go there. It's just so comfortable and welcoming and you don't feel obligated to strike up some sort of conversation. It just kinda natural to talk with them. They had quite possibly the biggest residential Christmas tree I've ever seen in their living room. It's like 10 feet wide or something. There always seems to be some sort of drama surrounding their Christmas trees. Like the year they brought the snow and slush covered tree in their old house and snipped the netting or whatever it is that pulls all the branches in....they cut the string and the tree came boinging out spraying snow and slush everywhere. The room the tree was in was covered with water everywhere. Actually, just about anything they do ends up with some sort of entertaining story. I love hearing them.

Laura and I were talking about her family party earlier in the day and how her Aunt lost 40 pounds. She told Laura she lost it by using www.thedailyplate.com. I've used that site before to get some nutritional information, but I never looked into the site overall. Laura said she thinks she's going to look into it and I said I would as well. She has just about all the same complaints about WeightWatchers I do and both are looking for a change to keep us on track. Anyone use it? Have anything to say about it?

I'm good at hiding stuff.

So good, in fact, that I lost all of the kids Christmas presents and stocking stuffers. I have their Hanukkah stuff, but no idea where the Christmas stuff went. Luckily they're not here so I don't have to scurry to find them by tomorrow.

Nana always told me to pray to St. Anthony when I lost something. I think its really supposed to be if you're a lost soul or something, but I may say a prayer to aide me in this search. And when I find it, of course, it was because of St. Anthony.

As for Brian and I? We're starting a new holiday tradition for Christmas Eve. We're going out for Chinese. Then, we have cookies to bake for his dinner at work and we're doing our gift exchange tonight. I'm very excited! I haven't snooped or anything for the gifts!! :)

Lesser of two evils?

The doc wants me to try yet another medicine, Amitiza. I'm all for anything that will keep things moving in my belly. I started to read about it this morning, only to find out the side effects are the equivalent of the flu and chest pains. How wonderful is that?

So, my options are:

• Don't poop for weeks at a time and deal with basically IBS symptoms everyday
• Or, twice a day for 2-3 hours after taking my meds I can have the
  "flu," chest pains, shortness of breath, and fluid retention in my hands, but poop like a champ

They both sound like winners.

What am I thinking? Maybe I just need to start smoking a pack a day and drinking coffee non-stop. I think that get everything moving along just fine.

Lucky you're cute.

I didn't know it was possible for a cat to embarrass you. That was until ten minutes ago.

The plumber came by to fix the relief valve on our water heater. At the same time, Mattingly decided to take one of her massive, smelly poops that she, oh, so conveniently, doesn't know how to cover. Did I mention the litter box is less than six inches away from the water heater?

Good timing, little one.

Down 5+

Now, I'm sure I probably owe some thanks to Mr. Fleet and Ms. Ducolax from last week. Oh, and I can't leave out the GI doc and his willingness to do a colonoscopy....

Even though yesterday I created a new food group called snickerdoodles and hot chocolate and got rid of fruits and veggies, I am down this week. 3 pounds!!

WEEK	WEIGHT	WEEKLY LOSS	TOTAL LOSS
1	177.4	2.6	2.6
2	174.4	3	5.6

Tree picture

It's a little lacking in the branch/needle department. I think it needs some Rogaine or something to grow the rest. I wish I still had the original picture without it decorated. That big metal pole going up the middle looks just like something you'd find in nature! :)

Our absolutely ugly, perfect, burned up Christmas tree

Brian and I were really bad about getting our Christmas decorations up. You'd think Brian, being Jewish, wouldn't really care, but I think he gets more excited than me. Starting Thanksgiving Day, all he listens to is Christmas music which drives me nuts. And, he's absolutely psychotic about decorating with lights. This year, though, we were running a little late with getting our tree up. We both prefer real trees over artificial. Every time we went out it was either raining or yucky weather. Or, we got to busy or didn't have the truck to haul it home. Thursday, we went to the local tree lot and found the perfect tree. It was almost $40. Since we are working Christmas Day and going to my parents for the weekend it was ridiculous to buy a $40 tree for four days.

Yesterday, Brian texted me while he was out to say he found an artificial tree on super sale in Target for $17. For that price, I was happy. He was happy to find a tree just in time for the kids to decorate it last night.

I worked last night until this afternoon. I got a call from Brian last evening saying, "we just put the tree together. The first thing Brandon said was, 'why does it look like the tree was on fire?'" Yeahhhhh. So, I guess you get what you pay for. He sent a picture to my cell phone once it was all decorated. It's the most pathetic looking tree I ever saw. Now that I see it in person, it's just as pathetic but in a good pathetic way. Now there's a story behind it and a memory....even if it is nicknamed the "burned up tree."

I'll have a picture later.....I can't seem to download it now for some reason.

Today

The colonoscopy went well. The worse of it was the mild allergic reaction/sensitivity I had in the recovery room to the pain medicine I was given. That was easily fixed with some Benadryl, though.

The doctor said he didn't find anything he suspected as cancerous or any polyps to remove. He did, though, find a small ulcer that he biopsied just in case. The doctor thinks it may be irritation from all the prepping yesterday. He doesn't think that has anything to do with what's been causing my belly problems. Apparently, my intestines are a bit more windy than normal, but that also should not be causing the problems, either.

That said, the doctor still doesn't know why I'm having pain and bowel issues. My blood work (with the exception of one celiac test) and my CT scan came back normal. I don't have Crohn's, diverticulitis/diverticulosis, etc. Monday, I'm going on a new medicine to see if that helps move things along, so to speak.The hope is it will increase motility and decrease the pain I keep having. I have to get another test done to see if I have some sort of bacteria in my small intestines which could be causing all of my problems. The good news is, if I have that bacteria it can be cleared up with two weeks worth of antibiotic and I'll be back to normal. I'm gonna be pissed (but happy!) if that's the case. Over a years worth of belly-aching and it could have been fixed with an antibiotic in two weeks.

I'm very much relieved the test is over and the primary cancer concerns have been ruled out. Everything else seems so minor now. I'm confident its only a matter of time til the doctor fixes me and I can be back to normal again.

After not eating for 1 1/2 days, Brian took me out for a breakfast date at Miss Shirley's. Cinnamon roll pancakes ended up on my plate and they were phenomenal. Not being able to eat real food for 1 1/2 days was a real eye opener. When I started to feel hungry, I found something else to do or drank water or Gatorade primarily because I had no other choice. I got through my "withdrawals" or whatever you want to call them just fine. With a little work, I plan on keeping that mentality, drink something when I think I'm hungry, and have another loss week like last.

I'm feeling better today....

in more ways than one. First off, lets get the lieutenant mess out of the way. After talking to some close friends and I'd even say mentors at work, I've started to come to terms with being in fourth place. I did not score the way I thought I would or hoped I would, but I'm still on the list. I still am (I'm hoping, anyway) eligible to become a Lieutenant, and accomplished that almost to the day of my fourth anniversary. All of the other candidates have 6+ years on, one having nearly 12 or 13, I believe. That's an accomplishment in itself. I was all concerned about what others would think and I was reminded I really only care about about a select few opinions. And those select people don't care where I score. They told me to look at the big goal. Being an officer is an overall job. What I took was a test, and maybe I had a bad test day. I'll get to prove to everyone what I am capable of once in the position. The best comment of the day? "I'd want you to me my boss." That person earned a sticker.

On to feeling better topic #2: I slept at work. That may seem like nothing to you but to those people on shift work or who are close to me, know that sleeping at a firehouse is crappy. You never get a truly restful sleep. That is especially true for me. I really can't recall a time where I woke up rested and ready to go about my day after a 24 hour shift. That was, my friends, until today. I felt awesome. I left workand spent a few hours doing some shopping on the way home. I wanted to stay out longer, but I had to get home to start prepping for tomorrow.

Ok, that was a bummer. That Fleets crap I had to drink--well, I think I drank 8 ounces of sea water. Oh, God, was it gross. Whoever thought "lemon and ginger" would be good with a bagful of salt needs their head checked. Anyway, two hours later the anticipated visit to the potty room was made. Sorry, a little gross I know, but there's a positive in all this. After that visit, my stomach didn't hurt. I think that might be the first time in months that my stomach didn't hurt. Maybe because its completely empty and I'm living off of Gatorade, Sprite (splurged for the real stuff too---no diet here!), and water. Food? I can't wait til tomorrow. My stomach is growling a very mean growl at me. And speaking of growling, I'm going to go tame it....with another 1.5 ounces of sea water. I can't wait. Ew.

The colonoscopy is at 7am tomorrow. Pray they find nothing. Or maybe something. I'm not sure which way to go. Pray they figure out what's been giving me problems, but say another prayer they don't find cancer or anything like that. I'd love to be like my Grandma Jeannie, but not in that way.

I'm bummed :(

We got our scores back from our Lt. exams today. I was hoping or I guess expecting to do well. I ranked fourth out of four people. There were three phases to the exam--a written, a written practical, and a video practical. I did okay on the two writtens, but apparently not so good on the video portion. I walked out of the test knowing stuff I should have said and other stuff I should have left out. But, by that point it was too late.

The practical portion of the exam was a few hours long. I'm not making excuses because it is what it is. I know I could have studied more, etc. The only thing I wonder is did Brandon's party help distract me? I was very focused on the written part. The video portion, I kept looking at my watch wondering if I'd get home in time to get ready for the party and I lost my train of thought a lot. I probably shouldn't have scheduled a 7 year olds birthday party on the same day as the exam and have all kinds of family around visiting from everywhere, with some staying at the house. I know I was worn out after the test. I had to pull over to get a Diet Pepsi because I was falling asleep on the way home.

When I finally got home and walked in my house I was so overwhelmed with people that weren't even supposed to be there for another one or two hours. Of course everyone wanted those obligatory kisses and hugs. Everyone wants to help even when you don't need it, but they do it anyway. Knowing how stressed I was about the exam and the party, my mom pulled me aside and told me to go upstairs and hide for a few hours to relax because Brian had everything under control. Bastard Cat was up there already hiding/waiting for me. (He's a smartie.) I'd like to say I relaxed, but I wasn't able to. I kept reviewing the test at the same time as I wondered what was happening in my house while I was in our room. I colored my hair instead. It was mindless.

Like I said, I can't change the past but now I wonder just how focused I really was. If you can't tell, I'm aggravated with myself. My dad always made me be the best at whatever it was I did. And if I didn't achieve that "best" goal then that meant I didn't try hard enough or work hard enough according to him. I remember plenty of nights getting yelled at for screwing something up in basketball or him refusing to talk to me after I made an unpopular decision about college or my major. I never got that "I'm genuinely proud of you because you did something you set out to do whether it was good or bad," pat on the back. It seems like my successes or failures affected how "he" would look and we couldn't make him look bad. The sad part, the first thing I thought of today upon getting my score is my dad will be disappointed. And, quite honestly, I could give two poops about what he thinks. I'm more upset that I still think that way after years and years have gone by.

Sometimes trying for the best was a good motivator when I was in high school, but now, 10-15 years later, the effects are lasting. I am not okay with just passing even though I hopefully will get promoted. It just may not be as soon as everyone else. I'm not okay with not meeting expectations. I feel I have to be #1 or 2 or everyone will think badly of me. I guess I still have some esteem/confidence issues to work out. I just pray Brian and I don't do that type of thing to the kids, although I'm sure we'll do something to send them to therapy. I am confident every parent does. :)

On another note, my liquid diet officially starts now. :( I'm so not going to like tomorrow.

Week #1 back on plan...

was a success! Being half on planned worked. I weighed in (at home, no more meetings) at 177.4 pounds. I'm down 2.6 pounds. It is not a huge loss, but its enough to keep me motivated. I'm finding more and more (not all the time, though) to think before I eat. Like, if I eat a half a bagel, instead of just devouring the whole thing without a second thought, I look at the other half and decide if I want it because I'm hungry or because it tastes good. I have turned down half a bagel to an orange, apple or banana on a few occasions this week. At work, I ate what I brought instead of ordering out. It saved plenty of points, and probably a couple of bucks too.

Speaking of bucks, I am so impressed at our holiday shopping this year. We are so below budget its amazing. Brian and I have made our shopping experiences into mini games of how much can we get for nothing. I don't want to sound like everyone gets crappy cheap presents. Its not like that. But, we are doing some good clearance and sale shopping. I used to make of my sister for coming home and showing off what she got on sale, but now I'm like her. Guess its not all bad. Just takes a little longer to shop/search.

We've got a busy week ahead of us. I have to work tomorrow and Brian does on Wednesday. Thursday, I've got the dreaded colonoscopy. That explains why I'm working tomorrow and not Wednesday. Colonoscopy prep......ew. :( I'm not looking forward to it, but I think after its over and I know what it shows, one way or another, it will put my mind at ease.

Oh, and this week I should find out how I did on the Lt.'s exam. I think Brian's more excited than me.

Half on plan

I have to say, I'm half impressed with myself. The last few days I've been on plan (pretty much, anyway). Yeah, I've used a few of the weekly points, but I've made some good choices. Half of something instead of all of it. Add some fruit or veggies here and there. Water. I've been drinking it like a fish (except today---way too much Diet Pepsi). You know what the best part is? I have no idea what the scale says. I feel good. For all I know, I gained 5, but I know deep down this is the most on plan I've been in months, maybe a year.

The downfall? My last weigh in was 180.2. That means I gained an extra daily point. Good, right? That really is helpful. But, if I lose even .8 this week, I'm back to 23 points. Psychologically, that screws me up and I have REAL issues with 23 points. I'm not really sure why.

Why did my first line say half impressed with myself? The other half hasn't been working out. I was doing so well there for a bit, and then I fell off and was dragged behind the wagon. Wednesday will be week 3 with no visits to the gym. I should stop typing and go do a Firm DVD. But look, its 850pm and I have to go to sleep soon so I can get up at the crack ass of dawn to go to work. I can't be late either. I'm Brian's relief. I should be nice and get there early so he can get ready to work his normal shift. Tomorrow AM I'm not going to feel like being nice, am I?

My new favorite love

Dunkin' Donuts eggwhite flatbread sandwich with turkey sausage. Filling, tasty and 6 points.

Oh my God, what happened to your face?!

Yep. That's what I heard at 320am in the ER. And it wasn't being said to someone that just got their faced smashed with a baseball bat...it was being said to me. What?! I was tired, well, exhausted, but did I just hear what I thought? Yeah. Apparently my breakouts are so appalling, that's what an old co-worker said to me, "You used to have such nice skin when you worked here." (And I thought I was having a good face day.) Really, girl, you are not helping with any self-esteem issues I might be having at 320 in the morning. She then suggested I scrub my face with limes every day. "That's what we do in Jamaica." The conversation ended with, "maybe you just need sex." God, I'm so glad we got to catch up.

Good or bad change?

So, I hear they are changing up WW....again. I'm not sure how I feel about it. Then again, I know nothing about it.

Recommend

Anyone know of a good website in which you can find reviews for doctors? I'm trying to find a primary and would prefer not to just randomly picking a name off a list.

If anyone has a doc they'd recommend in the Baltimore/DC/Southern PA area, pass their name along. I want someone who looks at the whole picture and is interested in preventative health.

I am in love with Mrs. Something-ski

So, I ran this call today for a sick man. I asked the guy his name he told me "something-ski." Well, he didn't exactly say those words---his last name ended with a "ski" and I feel its inappropriate to put his name in here. Anywho....we were standing in his bedroom, his wife next to me, and we're trying to figure out why he felt the way he did. His wife was besides herself and kept giving me that "fix him" face. She definitely made it clear they were married for 50 years and, well, we better make him better. Talk about pressure.

We determined the patient wasn't really as sick as first thought, so to turn down the tension, I decided to make small talk with Mrs. Something-ski. She and her husband had a thick accents, so I asked where she was from. Of course, knowing full well with a name like Something-ski she was probably from Poland. She said she was from Poland and they moved to the US in '75. I said, "so, you make pierogies?" She got this hugest (really big) grin on her face. "You know pierogies?" Why yes, yes, I do. I left out the part about Pierogi Fest trip to Indiana and the Pierogi Man Legend from Forest City and just smiled cutely and said, "yes, I love them."

"Wait here, I get you some," she said. I tried to tell her it wasn't necessary but I quickly learned its not good to argue with 70 something year old Polish ladies. We continued treating her husband and quite honestly I kinda forgot about the pierogies. All of a sudden she walked in the room with this paper plate covered with tin foil, all put in a big zip loc bag. How freakin' cute is she? "Here, your pierogies."

I figure its a win-win situation. I got real pierogies from a real Polish woman and realized there are still nice people in the world. She was able to relax if only for a few minutes during maybe one of the most stressful moment in her life. Oh, the powers of the pierogi.

And Brian? Haha, he's jealous. I'm not sure if I'm going to share. I don't know if the old Polish ladies like to share with the Jewish type. Us Polacks and Slovaks and whatever other "laks" gotta stick together.

Make a deal.....I'll trade you one pierogi for a potato latke. Maybe then, we can talk.

Happy 1st Birthday, Ryan!!

Love,
Uncle Brian, Aunt Esther, Taylor, Bella, and Brandon

PS---you better get cake all over the place!!

Barium shot #1

It wasn't the worst tasting thing I ever had. Definitely wasn't the best though. It tasted kinda tropically with a bit of a nuclear aftertaste. It was definitely better than the contrast I had to drink last year. That stuff was mixed with fruit punch. I couldn't drink fruit punch for a few months afterwards.

This stuff was like being at a bar and having a nasty drink, but you chug it anyway, knowing you'll get drunk and you can chase it with a chicken finger or fries or something. Only problem was I had to stop eating at 11am so no chicken fingers. And this was definitely lacking alcohol. Maybe some Malibu or coconut Bacardi would have made it better. At least I'd feel better by the time I had to drink bottle #2!!

I want to go on a trip

I'm not sure where. Well, Europe would be nice. I know I still have plenty to see in the US and will hopefully get to continue to visit various places. On the east coast alone there's a gazillion places to visit and that's without going west for a single turn. But, deep down, I'd love to go way east. For stupid things, of course, plenty pertaining to food. England for fish and chips. Italy for pizza and pasta. Germany for a beer (which I'm sure I'm not going to like). Sweden to see if everything is like Ikea stores here. More than anything, I want to go to listen to accents. Ireland is number one on that list.

Anyone ever gone anywhere far away? Was it what you expected? Know of anyway to get there cheap? Good websites?

Thanksgiving 2008

Now that I have a few free minutes, I can be a little more detailed about Thanksgiving this year.

Brian and I spent Thanksgiving at work. Most people would say that's crappy, but there's a little bit of benefit to it. First off, you're guaranteed at least two, if not more, Thanksgiving dinners that you don't have to make and you usually don't have to pay for. And they are all a little different. Like at my parents house, my mom makes a kick ass turkey dinner. But, each year its the same thing. Same sides, same desserts. All good, but all the same. At work, you get to experience other peoples versions. Like, a fried turkey instead of roasted. Or mac and cheese instead of rutabaga. You come to work wondering if you'll even eat that day and by 3pm you've got invitations out the behind and you're stuffed beyond belief by 530pm. I was only invited two places and we usually get some sort of dessert or side dish from a citizen of the county. Brian had four dinners I think that day. My ex used to get his catered by the Willard Hotel or some other big named DC hotel. Not shabby to get fed and paid holiday pay at the same time. And, you don't have to deal with any family bickering or anything. The firemen are happy because they are almost guaranteed a fire that day. You can easily figure out the people who cook once or twice (Christmas day is just about the same) a year because their ovens catch on fire or they try to fry a turkey in their living room. That's not suggested, by the way, unless you are in the market for a new house and a Thanksgiving dinner at McDonald's.

The downfall to Thanksgiving this year was that we were up all night. I didn't sleep at all in that 24 hours and it showed the next day. I was falling asleep driving home, so I had Brian pick me up on the way. We had to leave for my parents by 1030am, so it was a mad rush to clean up and pack everything in time to pick Taylor up. She was still hesitant about going, but once she got to PA she had a blast. Saturday we had a nice little Thanksgiving dinner with my family and just relaxed that night by watching TV and learning to crochet from my mom. Sunday, after a stop for some necklace and bracelet beading, it was time to come home. That definitely wasn't the most pleasant drive. A three hour drive turned into almost six thanks to snow, ice, freezing rain and traffic. I was like a little kid fussing in their car seat. I couldn't get out of the car soon enough.

I can't believe its December already. I used to be done shopping for the holidays by October. Christmas and Hanukkah are only days away and I haven't even started yet. Not only have I not started shopping, but I have no idea what I'll be getting!! Brian and I decided we're going out one day and do all the shopping at once. I think I'm actually okay with that. Its going to be a little bit of a game. We are going out with a few hundred dollars, I'd suppose, and see how much stuff we can get without going over our budget. We have fun doing that in the grocery store. I'm sure we can do it with a holiday list.

Mmmmm.....barium

In an hour, I get to drink a delicious barium drink. And an hour after that I get to do it again. The radiology people lie. They say it tastes good. I searched the Internet for info about it and everything I read said it was close to puking gross. One girl I emailed said it was so bad it was starting to make her sick thinking about it. Science can clone animals and build new body parts from stem cells. You would think someone would have come up with some sort of contrast that tastes good instead of like a nuclear reactor. Ok, I don't know what they taste like, but I do know what the smell like and it wasn't pretty. This experience should be delicious!! Let me tell you, I'm counting down the minutes...only 56 more til my first chug. I'm so lucky I get to drink 2 bottles.

Last week I had labs drawn to see if anything showed up in bloodwork to explain my belly issues. I haven't heard anything back yet. I don't know if that is a good or bad thing. Today I have the CT of my belly. Next week or maybe its the week after, I have the pleasure of having a colonoscopy. That should be exciting. I took the day before the procedure off so I can "prep." After reading all the paperwork, I'm considering buying one of those TV dinner tables to stick in the bathroom with me and maybe a padded seat. I don't know what is going to be worse. All the prepping and testing or finding out what is really wrong with me.

I'm exhausted

We just got home from a weekend at my parents in PA. Brian, Taylor, and I left after work Friday morning for Thanksgiving. Taylor was hesitant at first about going for her first trip to my parents with the fear of being uncomfortable. She backed out of the trip once or twice during the week, but eventually decided to go. I think she's glad she went. She had a blast. The ride back sucked. Snow, ice, rain, and traffic. A 3 hour trip took almost 6.

I had my physical on Wednesday. How did the weigh in go? Well, first off I apparently shrunk 3 inches in the last 4 years. What?! I wasn't going to argue. Weight: I'm up. Way up from last year this time. I gained 13 pounds from last years physical. The cause? Who knows. Some is eating and I'd venture to say some is from medicine and from the GI issues that I'm in the process of trying to figure out. But since last week was Thanksgiving, I can say, I'm proud of myself and my eating. Hell, I ate things that I know that I'm not supposed to, but I totally did not stuff myself. I skipped on most desserts and anything I did have was a bite just to taste. The way I look at it is I could have been worse. As for everything else, hopefully this week I'll have some answers. Although I don't want to be told I'm sick or something, it would be nice to hear, "you have thyroid issues" or something and make me realize I'm not a load. Just a half load.

Totally changing the subject, I learned to crochet again this weekend. I learned years ago, but when I was making a baby blanket my cat at the time peed on it and that was the end of my crocheting career. Anyway, it stresses me out. It hurts my pointer finger on my left hand. My sister said I need to build up my crocheting muscles. I didn't even know those muscles existed. Maybe I'll stick to something a little less painful.

Found a doctor with a plan

I've scored again. I've got myself a squared away, young GI doc. I was very impressed with him. He had more of an interview with me then an exam and built a plan right there. I have to get labs drawn tomorrow to check my thyroid and a few other levels or stuff. I have really no idea of the specific labs he ordered. Next week, I'm going for a CT (with contrast, ew--they swear it tastes good like vanilla) of my belly to see if there's any evidence of diverticulitis or colitis or any -itis that could be causing my issues. If he sees something, he'll treat it with an antibiotic and go from there. Either way, because of the strong family history of colon cancer he ordered me a colonoscopy. Who could ask for a better Christmas gift? (Me! Me!) I feel much better after going. I'm glad the doctor didn't jump the gun but at the same time, I like that he took me seriously. Now, do I hope my luck continues and look for a few other specialists?

Done with the nose, on to the belly....

Now that the nose issue has been corrected and healed, I'm continuing on my endeavor of trying to keep myself healthy. I've been having all sorts of GI issues off and on for a year or two. Recently its gotten worse. I've blamed it on stress and side effects from medicine, but I'm starting to run out of excuses. Why am I afraid to go to the doc? My grandma was diagnosed with colon cancer when she was just a little bit older than I am now, and she unfortunately passed away from it in her mid 40's.

NO, I am not jumping to any conclusions saying I have cancer or something. I just realize that putting stuff off doesn't miraculously fix things. Being there's obviously a history of GI issues in the family, I want to be sure my problem are handled before I have more serious stuff to worry about later in life. Surprisingly, I got a new patient appointment next Monday. That's crazy to me. Usually I have to wait like 3-6 weeks for an appointment. I've been having good luck lately with doctors, especially specialists, so I'm hoping the trend will continue.

I heard someone got gas for $1.53 today!!

I'm posting this part for Brian. I think he should create a blog where each day he can post where he found the cheapest gas. I want everyone to (enter a touch of sarcasm here) enjoy those conversations as much as I do. If I have to suffer through them EVERYDAY so should everybody. Maybe for the comments of his posts you can suggest other topics of interest for him. :) Love you, Pop. I mean, dear.

I had one of those days.

The ones where it starts off wonderful, then WHAMMO! something smacks you from behind and it all comes crumbling down. I had my food all planned out for the day yesterday. I had lunch and supper which ended up getting eaten for breakfast and lunch. Suppers plan was to IHOP it. I was only getting pancakes and light syrup. Side order at best. My partner and I got there around 7pm and sat down to order. I got a little excited when I saw omelets, so I "ok'd" myself into an omelet and pancakes. The not so pleasant waitress came to take our order and told me I couldn't get the kids version. What!? She said I was over 12. I was going to argue with her and say if I stood outside and ordered carry out they would give it to me but because I was in a booth in a lovely uniform, I can't have a kid sized breakfast. Whatever. She wasn't worth the breath I was going to use up arguing with her. I ordered the adult sized portion. Asked for lite syrup. Never got it. Of course, as any firefighter/medic knows, a meal is not complete unless you get a call in the middle of it. "Good," I thought to myself, "this is God's way of telling me no more deliciousness for you, Sarah." Instead of leaving the extra on the table, I plopped it in a doggie bag. (I know, I know, bad decision!)

So, we responded to this car accident. I will spare most details, because I know none of you really give a crap. Ultimately, my judgment (which I would stand behind my decision til I die) was questioned and I was ultimately overruled about the treatment/transport of my patient. Unfortunately, being in a para-military line of work, I really couldn't run my mouth and defend myself or question why we were being overruled. Well, I'm sure I said some stuff but that was an off the book, unofficial Sarah rant. I was a bit fired up. And an hour or two later, in an annoyed emotional state, there I sat with my IHOP deliciousness covered in strawberry syrup. I don't know when the strawberry syrup got there. I swore I put normal stuff on as we were running out the door for our call. Either way, I stared, had a conversation with myself that I should just throw it away. About ten minutes after that, the pancakes were gone. And they weren't in the trash (unless you're calling my belly trash and that is just not very nice).

This morning I found myself very sleepy and sitting in a booth with Brian at a bagel place eating a wonderful seasame bagel with PB&J. Just the smell of it proved it wasn't reduced fat PB. I could smell the extra grams of fat. And the full of sugar jelly.....mmmm, may just convert me back from my current sugar free preserves. I know I shouldn't eat tired. It's kinda like driving drunk. Bad judgement, bad driving (honestly, some days), and bad decisions.

I know I have to look past it and now, at 5pm, I'm over it and moving on. I'm back on track. But those mini breakdowns are so frustrating. It makes me feel like I've lost all control and the easy thing to do is continue that downward spiral (its a very yummy spiral I've found, too).

Can you say Ms. Super Bargain shopper?

Mattingly got spayed today so to kill some time before we picked her up, Brian and I went to the local Goodwill store to snoop around. I was looking around the kids section at books when I decided to check out the toys. Brian bought Brandon a dump truck there a year or so ago for $1.25 and its one of Brandon's favorite (and noisiest) toys. Anyway, I looked on a shelf and there stood Yoda. He's about 10 inches tall, dressed in his linen cloak, looking cute. I picked him up and he started talking. Are you kidding me? This has Brandon's Christmas/Hanukkah present written all over it. I flipped Yoda over, and he was $3. How can you go wrong? 3 bucks, looks brand new and not played with and did I mention, $3?

So, I've been ebaying for the past hour or so looking for a new North Face coat (I refuse to pay full price for a fleece) and I decided to search for the talking Yoda. This is what I found. Can you even believe it? $700? Granted ours isn't in a box and won't be a real collectors item, but, ummm, about $697 cheaper.

Unbelievable. I love Goodwill. (Amy, you and I should take a Goodwill barhop, minus the bars, and try to find the best deals.)

Few new finds....

Found a few new things to chew on lately:

Ronzoni Bistro
I had penne with chicken and broccoli. I found it to be pretty good, especially for being premade. Its ready to eat after 90 seconds in the microwave. When you grab the package, you'll think there's not enough food in there, but once prepared, it was a pretty good portion. And the best part: 1 svg per bag so you don't have to share and the one I ate was only 4 points. Totally tasted like 12.

Brian and I found Werthers Originals Sugar Free at Walmart. Its 1 point for 5 candies. I spread my five out through the day yesterday and I gotta say, that little bitty candy saved me from snacking on the danishes and breads out on the counter.

Brian has been eating these for a while, but we came across something new. There is now a breakfast version of them. I believe one was caramel coffee cake and the other was blueberry lemon crisp. I don't know the exact number of points, but if they are like the mini cakes they shouldn't be bad. (I hope.) We got them at Safeway.

Now, its time for turkey meatball subs, made by my lover boy. (Ha, makes him sound sexy in the kitchen.)

I loved tonight (and yes, in fact I am a 28 year old dork!)

After the gym tonight, Brian took me to our favorite pizza place for Pizza Monday. We needed a few things from the grocery store so we stopped at Safeway on our way home. Our few things turned into lots of things, but here's the best part.....between Club card savings and lots of coupons, I saved $47!! It was like a game to see how much stuff I could get for under $100. It just so happened a lot of our staple items were on sale plus I had matching coupons.
And, we were under $100. I think $91 total.

It was a wonderful night.

It's going to get easier

I got a surprise email from Brian yesterday. "I joined WW online." He said he wanted to lose weight. I'm not sure if he joined WW to actually lose or just to support me. Whatever the reason, I'm not going to argue it. I'm just happy I have someone to do it with me. He doesn't want to go to meetings and that is fine by me. I really go moreso for the weigh in than anything else.

It makes life much easier when we're both working towards the same goal. Like I said, I'm unsure of his reason for starting WW, but I'm grateful for it. Thank you, honey. :)

Tomorrow is a new week.

I wish I could say I had a good WW week, but I'd be lying. And I think the reason is, I know I won't be weighing in until next Tuesday. I work my 24 hour shift tomorrow and will get heldover at least 2 hours on Tuesday so that shift can vote. Theres no way I can make it home in time for my meeting.

I ate junk two days because it made me feel better. Another two days I ate bad because I felt good and it felt good to be out having fun with Brian. And, deep down, I don't feel bad about this week. There's next week to focus on. The journal will come back out and all will be good.

I did make it to the gym yesterday and I loved it. I went to the women's gym at the gym and found out I love it. Its smaller, less people and the equipment I like. The layout is better----I don't feel like I'm walking in the middle of a mess trying to figure out what to do next. I think Brian was happy I was happy because he's been going to the gym faithfully and I have not. I'm excited to see how the working out will help change my body. I dont know why, but now its like a competition with myself. That just sounded stupid. But at least I'll win no matter what!

Oh...I'm so serious about this working out thing, that I'm considering getting up early and working out before my shift starts so I can shower and not worry about it during the day. But that all depends on how the sleeping goes tonight and if I can get my butt out of bed an hour earlier in the AM. Going to sleep tonight shouldn't be a problem with the sunset so early. I was ready for bed by 5:45!!

I transferred.

I officially transferred to a new meeting. Tuesday's at 930am with Wendy. I figure with all the other things I've been making routine through WW, I should have a set meeting with a set leader. No more wandering around to different WW centers with different leaders and only when I felt it was convenient for me. I found it very easy to accidentally on purpose miss a meeting because of a possible gain. Now, I'll be accountable. I'm going to get Wendy to know me---so she asks me why I wasn't at last weeks meeting if I miss. I need that support.

Even better news? I lost .4 lbs since Friday. That's .4 in four days! Kinda makes me wish I didn't weigh in til Friday to see what I would have done for the whole week. Guess I will just have to wait for next Tuesday.

Please don't get me any gift certificates to any of these spas!

I was just reading some articles on the Internet and came across this. I can't believe people pay money for this stuff. Fish biting my toes? Snakes in my eyes? Bull semen? Bird poop? Oh, no. No, no, no, no, no! Looking at the first picture made me gag a little. It went downhill from there.

Not over, two days in a row!

I calculated my points for yesterday and I didn't go over. I ate exactly 23. And today? I still have 1 I can spare. I think I'll hold on to that one. I'm sure somewhere down the road, I'll be looking for one lonely point to help me out.

Its amazing what putting a little thought into my eating can do for you. And, I even got to have my pizza for supper tonight. I just had to spare some points for breakfast and lunch. Hopefully this trend will continue and I'll have good things to post in the near future!

You know what is really awesome?

When your baby cat decides it will be cool to somehow put a hole in a down comforter. Oh yeah...on the bed that tomorrow night you plan to have out of town guests sleep in. Good timing there dummy. And, all the feathers were a nice touch too.

You mean just writing my food down doesn't help me lose? Rats.

Funny. I started journaling my food two weeks ago and I haven't lost. In fact, I may have gained. I don't know. I guess I miraculously thought when you write down what you eat it makes you lose. But I guess not if you don't make any changes about what or how much of it is entering the body.

Brian and I had a little pow-wow about how he is going to be supportive. I don't want that to come off the wrong way. He's helping in his own little way, but I guess deep down it wasn't really supporting me. At times, he was probably enabling me to do bad.

So, we've come up with a solution. When I tell him I don't want something early in the day I want him to tell me no when I suggest it later in the day. Since I tend to run out of points by supper time and then I just eat what ever is on the table, we've decided to make a weekly menu of different suppers. That way, I already know what the point total for the night will be. Then, I can adjust my breakfast and lunches accordingly. I also have to realize I need to make better choices. I thought that I made all the changes I needed to, but in reality that is completely false. Like Brian wanted to make chicken parm the other night. Sounded yummy. Then I realized how many points I actually had and I made a decision to alter my menu. No sauce and cheese for me saved two points and kept me right at my points for the day.

Today Brian was a sweetheart and made my lunch for me. I told him how my mom used to make my lunch and put it in a brown bag and I ate what was in there no matter what. At work now, I tend to put a bunch of food "choices" in my bag and, well, eat all of them. Except the fruit. So, this morning, my lunch was laid out for me. Supper was in its own container. Cinnamon bun oatmeal (my new favorite!) was in a tupperwear container waiting to be made, and there was a brown paper bag with my lunch in it. And to make it feel like old times, he even wrote "Sarah Richards" on the outside so it would feel like it did 15 years ago when my mom made lunches. (Richards is my maiden.)

I did well today. It wasn't easy. I swear I even went thru a mini withdrawal this evening. I ate grapes and oatmeal for lunch. My partner and a ride along went to a really good bagel place this morning and I opted for pretzels and a diet soda, which I forgot was one of my favorite snacks. It occupies my time when I'm bored eating and usually they're not too bad for me, depending on the type. Lunch was reduced fat PB on cinnamon raisin bread, 12 grain Trader Joe's crackers (another yummy), and a pear which I didn't eat yet because its hard. Maybe on the ride home tomorrow AM. Supper was leftovers from last night...chicken, new potatoes and green beans. FF tapioca pudding was a snack. I think I ended up being 1 point over, but I guess its better than the 7 or 11 I've been recently. Maybe I'll finally see some changes if I can continue this.

Downfall for the weekend? Brandon's birthday party. I'm hoping I will be good. I am making a chicken broccoli casserole from www.anniesadventures.com. If you've never been to that site, she's got plenty of really good WW recipes. At least I can feast on that. But I will have to make some room for funfetti cake. What can I say? The boy requested it!!

Brian, thank you for being supportive. I know its not easy, but I do appreciate it very much. The lunch was cute. It was something very different than what I am used to. Love you!

I'm not getting anywhere.

I wasn't going to tell anyone that I seriously followed WW this week. I weighed in on Tuesday and was 178.4. Boy, I recall a post saying I'd never get back in the 170s. But now I'm close to pushing 180. Anyway, I bought a journal and a dining out guide and sat in for the meeting which didn't do me much good because all they talked about was gross soups. Everyday I've journaled and made different decisions. I prepared myself by eating lower points for some meals in anticipation for others where I may want to indulge a little more. I've even checked off my waters and didn't lie about how many of my 35 points I devoured. I exercised. Seriously. Sweated even. Not only did I exercise, but one day I did it in the living room where Brian could see me. That's a big deal. Never has anyone seen me do my videos.

But, here I am almost a week later and I feel like I'm not doing a good job. I look at my body, the scale, the work and I feel like I can't do it. I'm following the plan but instead of feeling good about it I feel like its not going to work. It's never going to work and that just makes me want to order delicious fries and a chicken cheesesteak. (At least it was chicken!). Maybe its the work. Maybe its the easy way out, which I tell a certain someone on a regular basis he can't take the easy way out of his life anymore. Guess that would make me a bit of a hypocrite.

I hate to keep referring to the time when I lost 70 pounds, but I don't remember feeling like this. Then I was a young 21 year old. Now, I'm older and feel like I'm destined for the beginnings of an old lady body. I feel myself just dealing with and acccepting that body. And the attitude of that's how its supposed to be.

Quite honestly I think I lost this week. But, why am I not happy about that? I'm sure because I've been up and down forever. Even if its 175 (which I don't know if it is) I'm not happy with that 3.6 loss. I've seen 175 so many times before, its just like ok, I'm 175 now and eventually I'll be back.

I'm typing now because I don't want to go get something to eat, even though I really do. Did I mention I hate Weight Watchers?

Help the cause that helped me get fat!

I grew up in Northeastern Pennsylvania in a little town called Forest City. It's small---one square mile, about 2000 people. Let's put it this way. Most people graduate with hundreds of students. My school housed K-12 grade in one building with a total of 940 students. I believe we only had 60 some kids in my graduating class. With the exception of some people knowing about the Poconos because of their winter homes and skiing, most had no idea the area existed. At least not until NBC introduced The Office to us all. But anyway, the deal with that area is it used to be booming when coal mining was still in existence. Now that the mining is gone, it really doesn't have a "thing." It is by no means "booming" anymore, although plenty would like to get it back that way. European immigrants found their way to NEPA and started working in the mines. With them, they brought their ethnic (pronounced "etnic" in NEPA--for more PA talk go here) food. "Lean" anything is not allowed and its not a real meal unless there is a minimum of one stick of butter (not light margarine) included. We ate kielbasa (homemade, not Hillshire Farms and definitely not made of turkey), halpuki (stuffed cabbage, AKA pigs in the blanket to us), haluski (cabbage and noodles and 3 sticks of butter I think), povitica (pronounced po-tee-sa and its a very delicious nut roll), and most importantly pierogies.

Pierogies, for those of you who don't know, are pure deliciousness. Its a Polish dumpling filled with mashed potatoes and cheese, sauteed in lots of butter and onions, with more butter on top. Sometimes its filled with sauerkraut, mushrooms, cabbage, meat, or fruit. Nothing against Mrs. T's brand pierogies, but there's nothing like a real, homemade pierogi, made by some old lady in her tiny kitchen, or in the kitchen of a church or firehouse hall. (Everything happens at firehouses, as well. Everyone has a "firehouse" wedding in the banquet hall. And usually you lose a bunch of your guests when their pages go off alerting them to a call. Even though I tried to avoid it, Marshall and I ended up having a firehouse wedding.) I'm sure by now you catch my drift about just how much "bad" food we ate, especially pierogies and how all of that wonderful food set me up for multiple visits to Weight Watchers later in life.

So, now, in honor of making me the fatty I used to be, I'd like to thank the pierogi by helping make Forest City, PA, the Capital of the Pierogy Pocket 2009. Our town is in the final competition round along with 4 other cities. Each year we have a pierogi eating contest (which is actually quite gross to watch...I think this years winner ate 50+ homemade pierogies in 10 minutes) and this year they started telling the legend of Mr. Pierogi Man stories.

I'm asking that you vote for my hometown so we have a better chance of winning. The winner gets $10,000. If FC wins, they plan on putting the money towards a Living History of Forest City exhibit.

To read more, go here.
To vote, go here.

If you vote, thanks for helping put my hometown on the map!

A little fighter

I think this is an awesome story about a kid fighting off an intruder. Why can I picture a little Christy doing this?

Out it comes. Probably soon to go back in.

About 16 hours after insertion of the packing, I lost it. I couldn't tolerate it anymore. My nose was running, I couldn't stop sneezing, I couldn't sleep. It was worse than the original splints.
The next morning, I called and made an appointment to see the doctor. She apologized and said although it was her wishes to keep it in, it wasn't worth the agony I was going through, especially since I was going back to work Friday. She said she didn't want me snotting on my patients. She removed the packing (which hurt like hell) and said the septum was where it should be. I agreed because I could breath out of the right side again. She didn't expect it to stay like that but said, "you never know." If by Thursday it seems like it shifted again, my doctor wants to repack it and leave it in for at least a few days--over the weekend so I don't have to worry about work (even though I'm supposed to go back to work Friday).

Today is Wednesday. I can feel its going back to where it was before. I'm just hoping I'm stuffy because its morning, but I'm pretty sure I'll be back in tomorrow getting repacked. She said this time she would try to make it a little smaller and maybe that will cause me less misery. I think the thing that would cause less misery is just not putting it in at all. Trust me, I don't want to go through any of this again, but I also want to breath like I should be, especially after going through all I have so far.

I knew it wasn't right.

I went to my ENT this afternoon for my 2 week post-op checkup. I felt like my septum went, or was on its way to going back, to how it was prior to the surgery. The last day or so I wasn't able to breath again out of the right nostril. After examining me, my doctor agreed. The shift is not as bad as it was prior to the surgery, but it is definitely not where it should be. So, unfortunately, I got packed today, in hopes it will act as a splint and shift my septum to the left. To be honest, I'm not a big fan. I sneezed non-stop for 15 minutes in the office. Finally, the doctor decided it was best if she numbed me so my nose could get used to the packing. I have to go back next week for an exam, but she told me to expect to have the nostril packed for at least two weeks. At first I was okay with it, but four hours later, I'm not. I feel like I have a sinus infection in only one half of my face. I feel like my nose is running/congested, but in reality its not because there's no place for anything to go. I wish they made the packing a nice skin color. It's very white, if you are looking at me straight on, it's not noticeable. But, if I'm above you or I raise my head slightly I've got a attractive tampon sticking out. It's hot. So, I thought I was on the way to better breathing, but instead I've got at least two more weeks of yuckiness. I'm sure getting the packing yanked out will be as pleasant as when the splints were removed. Ugh.

Its 7pm

and it's dark out already. No wonder I don't feel like doing anything besides getting ready for bed!!

Weird.

I had a few naps off and on today. Each time I dreamed of Bird. All she wanted to do was dye my hair. She lived next door and sat out on her deck talking on her cell waiting for me to come out so she could "catch" me when I went outside.

Alright, so it wasn't the last.

I promised I'd post it and Caroline ever so kindly reminded me. Again.

Skillet BBQ Chicken

From WW five ingredient, 15 minute cookbook. Spring 2008

6 pts
4 svgs

4 (6oz) skinless, boneless chicken breast halves
2 tea olive oil
cooking spay
1/4 tea black pepper
1/4 cup bottled BBQ sauce (such as KC Masterpiece)
1/2 c 50% red fat shredded cheddar cheese w/ jalapeno pepper (such as Cabot) I couldn't find this so I used RF Pepperjack cheese
2 tablespoons real bacon pieces (such as Hormel)
3 tablespoons chopped green onions

Place ea chicken breast half between sheets of heavy duty plastic; pound to 1/2 in thickness
Heat oil in lg nonstick skillet coated with cooking spray over med-hi heat. Sprinkle chicken evenly with pepper. Add chicken to pan, cook 4-5 min ea side or until chicken is lightly browned and done.
Brush 1 tablespoon BBQ sauce over ea chicken breast half. Top ea with 2 tablespoons cheese and 1 1/2 tea bacon pieces.
Cover. Reduce heat to med-low and cook 2 minutes or until cheese melts
Sprinkle each with 2 tea green onions.

This is totally the last post for today.

I had a bad Smart One's experience a long time ago and refused to buy them since. Ironically, I don't remember the experience but I know it was bad. While at a WW meeting I received a coupon for a Smart One's breakfast quesadilla. Holy Hell, Batman. It was awesome. I feel bad for letting it live in my freezer so long. Its the closest thing I could get to a Chick-fil-a sausage burrito (bacon in place of the sausage, and no grease rolling down forearms) and it was only 4 points!! I can't wait for breakfast tomorrow.

It appears that Smart One's have a few choices out there and I don't want waste my time on the yucky ones. Can anyone suggest others to me to buy along with my Lean Cuisine's I get occasionally? I know I'm not a fan of WW mac and cheese. I like LC's much better. Any suggestions will be greatly appreciated.

Two months or less

I am maybe 75-80% back to normal. Normal enough that I'm hungry and now that I can taste again I can't overdo it. Remember (I'm talking to myself here) you're work physical is in November or December and your evaluation is in December. Gotta get to at least 166. Yeah, so I think I was 177 last I checked. I don't have any idea where that number came from. Pizza, cookies, chicken fingers would not turn their back on me and slab themselves on my ass and hips. I love them so much. They have to love me just the same.

Now that I can eat and taste, I am back to counting points. I'm doing it differently, again. I really abuse the 35 extras each week and when I really need them I don't have any. So, I'm going back to the way I used to do it years ago---when we had a range. I'm doing 23-28 points a day. If I use them all, okay. If I don't, yippee! I have to review what is good for me to dine on when out. I think I may be making some bad choices. Or maybe I should only be eating half. I probably should ask for the doggie bag up front.

On top of that, I know its inevitable that I have to exercise. Strangely enough, I'm not opposed to it. Granted, I'm in no shape to do a Body Pump class or anything unless I plan on dying that way or having some serious nose drainage issues. Plus I'm not supposed to be carrying anything heavy or stoop/squat, etc. On the other hand, I do feel well enough to do a WATP DVD. Its low impact, its just walking and I can't get hurt. (I'm going to regret writing that later when I trip over a cat or something.) I think just a little exercise should help. I keep trying to tell myself I'm eating just the same as a year ago and I did not exercise then, but that's a lie. The food may be the same, but the exercise was different. I definitely did more walking and DVDs. Hell, how many times did I bitch about how I couldn't get off and on the toilet after doing a FIRM DVD?

This is crunch time!! Only a little time remains! And I'm NOT getting anything below a satisfactory on my work evaluation. No working hard and doing poor on it because of my weight. I'm serious this time. Really! I swear. And Brian's helping (I think). He through away a perfectly good, gooey, delicious Cinnabon this morning so I wouldn't eat it. :(

RIP. And a big wake up call for the rest of us.

This weekend, anyone in the area that does any sort of public safety (fire, police, EMS) work got a big wakeup call. Maryland State Police medevac helicopter, Trooper 2, crashed early Sunday morning, killing 4, leaving only one survivor.

Brian worked 12 hours overtime Saturday night into Sunday, in addition to his normal 24 hour shift Sunday. I called him a little after midnight to tell him good night and to be careful, as usual. He had a different tone in his voice as compared to normal. I asked what was wrong. He said, "they're looking for Trooper 2." What does that mean? Are they at a hospital, in the hanger, flying around? I asked him what he meant and he told me two ambulances were supposed to meet Trooper 2 at Andrews Air Force Base to pick up its patients and finish the transport to the trauma center. The helicopter wasn't going to be able to make it because of bad weather. The Trooper never arrived at Andrews. Police and fire units started looking for the helicopter because no radio contact could be made after it went off both Andrews AFB and SYSCOM's (dispatch for Trooper) radars. Knowing their last location was approximately 2 miles away, maps were pulled out and the attempt to find out where the helicopter might be began. I told Brian to be careful and let me know what ended up happening. He was hopeful that it was just a radio glitch or an electrical problem on board.

My cell died in the middle of the night. Around 6am, I plugged it in to charge and saw I had two text messages from Brian. One read, "Trooper and pilot dead, I treated pt." The next read, "also 2nd pt and Charles Co. provider." I sat in bed and tried to absorb it all in. I'm not going to lie and say I didn't see it coming. When a helicopter is en route to a specialty center only a few things will make them land and transfer care to another another means of transport. The weather was bad, they lost all contact, a crash sounded inevitable, but like Brian said, maybe it would just be a glitch.

Finally, later that morning I was able to speak with Brian. He sounded upset. He said after he got off the the phone with me, he spent time with the police trying to figure out areas where to look. Police were searching everywhere. Brian and another EMS officer started to look in areas they were familiar with where no one would have heard if something happened (construction areas, etc.) Brian said he heard an officer transmit over the radio he smelled jet fuel and shortly later it was confirmed the Trooper did indeed crash. The wreckage was found nearly 2 hours after radio/radar contact was lost. Brian headed towards the site and was the first fire department official on the scene. He was told to go down the path to help. He, along with another MSP medic, treated and stabilize to the best of their ability, the only survivor until they could get her in an ambulance and transported to a trauma center. The medic told Brian everyone else was dead. After he told me that, he said he had to go. I could already hear the exhaustion in his voice.

Later in the afternoon, Brian was placed in charge of removing the deceased from the helicopter. He said it was one of the most respectful and professional things he's ever seen. He said it was like watching the footage of the deceased from 9/11 being removed---covered with flags, etc.

He was on the scene for 16+ hours. That in itself is exhausting, let alone dealing with all the events surrounding the incident. We all get "that" call. The one that sticks with you for a while or makes you think a little bit. Like,"why do we do this job?" Everyday we leave for work we know it may be our last. As for us, we dealt with Trooper 2 on a regular basis. We got to know the pilots and medics. I know myself I've flown numerous times over the years in that exact helicopter. Brian flew a few weeks ago. Usually its just for a helping hand and we can stay strapped in our seat. But I will never forget the day I had to unstrap myself to treat an extremely critical patient. You think walking down an airplane aisle or trying to use the restroom while in air is a little weird? Imagine being crouched over treating someone who's spewing all kinds of yuck at you in a bouncy helicopter. Once I was unstrapped, all I could think was, "God, please don't let this crash." We worry about flying, yet they have a better record than ambulances. My chances of getting hurt or killed in an ambulance is much higher.

I knew the pilot. Not well, by any means, but enough to say hi to him while at the hospital. He was a retired State Trooper Cpl, who came back to work as a civilian pilot MSP. He was 59 and I believe left behind a wife and grown children. The medic, also an state trooper, was in his 30s, worked for the department for four years, and just got back from baby leave. He left behind his wife and four month old daughter. The volunteer EMT on board, assisting the medic, was 39 and left behind her husband and two sons. The patient just graduated from high school. She, along with the survivor were involved in an accident and were being flown to the trauma center. Driving them from the accident scene would have meant an extended transport time. Normally, if a specialty center is more than 30 minutes away, helicopter transport is utilized. The survivor, from what I've read, was best friends with the deceased patient and also graduated last June. She eventually was transferred to Shock Trauma in Baltimore where she had extensive surgery and is expected to survive and eventually walk again.


Like I said, it was a big wakeup call. What would happen if that was me being helping out on the helicopter? Would Brian go on without me? Maybe so, but I know if it was reversed I'd have some issues dealing with that. I already have real issues with him going to work when I'm not there. Its really not because I don't want him there, but if something is going to happen I want to know about it immediately. I want to be there with him. I always fear that phonecall that might come in the middle of the night. We are extremely annoying with each other with check-ins throughout the day, especially when we're working the same day. Did you make it to work? Why did you request the police on that call? Why are they searching for you on the radio? Did you get in an accident and are unable to answer or did you take your portable in the bathroom with you and turned it off so you could take a silent pee?

I was in a bad accident years ago in which I probably should have died. I've been on a few calls where I very easily could have been assaulted, stabbed, or shot. I'm not the most religious person in the world. I honestly don't know what I believe in, but I do know that I feel each of us has our day for a specific reason (which we probably will never know why). I wasn't supposed to die in that accidentg. Pure physics would make me dead, but for some reason I didn't. Not that I know of a better way to go, but I pray that God or whatever it is that controls life and death doesn't let it happen to me, Brian, or anyone else I know that works in public safety while we are on duty.

Christy (by the way, if I never mentioned before, she and I used to be partners at the busiest medic unit in the county before she decided to go ahead and get hurt) has a few good posts on her blog about the Trooper accident. Its pretty obvious that she feels similarly to what I've described. Actually, she probably posted more emotional stuff than I did. Instead of posting lots more on this post, check out her's.

RIP Stephen Bunker (pilot), Mickey Lippy (trooper/medic), Tanya Mallard (EMT assisting), and Ashley Youngler (patient).

Speedy recovery wishes to survivor Jordan Wells.

My new nose.

Surgery went well. There were no complications, but the people I talked to weren't lying about the pain involved. Outwardly, except for me looking stoned for the first few days and walking around with a nose sling and guaze, you would never know I had surgery. No bruising, no significant swelling, nothing. Brian and his mom took very good care of me the day of the surgery. His mom made me matzo ball soup and also stopped for some mashed potatoes and chicken fingers for me on the way home. (I don't know what it is, but after every surgery I'm craving chicken fingers.) Thankfully, I didn't have any problems eating---it didn't hurt or anything. But, the downfall was I couldn't taste anything for over a week except anything super sweet. I could have eaten gooey icing from a cinnamon roll all day long.

My dad stopped by for a day before flying out of BWI for a business event. My mom stayed with us from Thursday til Tuesday. It was nice having her around, for conversation more than anything else. By that time I was up and walking around but I was at that point where you feel good enough that you don't think you should be laying in bed anymore but not well enough to fully get dressed, do makeup and hair. Sunday we went out because I was starting to go stir crazy. My ass was kicked after going to three stores (and it was just get what you need stuff, not wandering around aimlessly) and dinner. I remember that happening with one of my knee surgeries. I made it to the rear of a store, but I was so tired afterwards, I couldn't make it back to the front to leave. I thought Marshall was going to have to ask for a wheelchair or stick me in a cart or something just so we could get out of there.

Anyway, Mom was entertained fully by the cats, especially the little one. One day I'm just going to surprise you all with her kitty pictures. Probably when she's three, but the day will come.

Fast foward to Tuesday...
I went for my eval with my ENT. She was to remove one of the splints and have the second removed next week. Yeah, that didn't happen. Instead she decided to remove both splints from each nostril because she felt it may be too irritated to pull it next week. Let's just say I cried. Not like a baby, but enough for tears to fall. She didn't numb or anything before. Just a quick yank. Ugh. Thank God that won't happen again. I was very excited to be able to blow my nose and stop breathing out of my mouth. Of course, I'm not fully healed, so I still have a substantial amount of pain everywhere (ears, eyes, teeth, nose) and some bleeding. Hopefully in six weeks I'll notice the beginning of the full effects of the surgery. And, of course, I'm happy that my nose is a bit straighter. I still have a bump but nothing I can't live with. What I want to know is how people can elect to have plastic surgery to their face after having it once before. I can't believe a nose job or anything having to do with the face can be comfortable. I can assure you, unless I get some sort of major trauma to my face, there will be no cosmetic surgery happening. I don't want to feel this again.

I do not go back to work til next Friday. I didn't think I'd need so much time to recover, but I'm glad I did. I need lots of naps throughout the day. I better remember to break that habit, because when I go back, I've been transferred to a busier medic unit. The days of laying around doing nothing are over. I'm looking forward to the change though. But, I will miss my morning, afternoon and occasional evening naps.

Hi.

I am still here, just not too incredibly motivated to blog. Some day when I have a good chunk of time on my hands and I'm feeling better I will tell you all about the nose surgery and recovery (ugh), my parents in town, and if I remember I will finally post the kitty pictures.

Our quest to eat right

Brian's now on a quest to eat better, too. He's been faithfully going to the gym for a few weeks now but isn't seeing the results he wants. I, on the other hand, haven't been going to the gym, so I don't see results either. We know we have to combine good eating with exercise but its not as easy as it seems when you're stuck in your old habits. Like today, Brian suggested we go to Heavenly Ham for lunch. Seems easy enough and a good choice. Lean lunchmeats on yummy bread. Oh, except have you seen their nutritional information lately? Yeah, so all these attempts I've been making of eating turkey subs instead of getting something fried when eating out....I'd probably be better off getting the fried chicken tenders. Most of the sandwiches at Heavenly Ham have upwards of 700+ plus calories, about 40-50 grams of fat, and only 1-2 grams of fiber. I think if I used my points calculator that would end up being a high number. Ugh. And to think when I ate out I was making decisions that I thought were better for me.

Today we are trying to have salads for lunch. Unfortunately, my "at home" salads never taste as good as if they came from somewhere else. Now, after reading that nutritional info from Heavenly Ham, I'm fearful of what restaurant salads would end up being points wise. I'm trying to stay on track, really. Its just harder than I thought some days. Anyone know of good salads that are points friendly from restaurants?

Nose job is tomorrow.

Ok, so its not a real nose job but it sounds a whole lot cooler than "septoplasty with inferior turbinate reduction." Its been postponed to 1030am so that means I get a few extra hours of sleep. I was supposed to be at the hospital by 640am, but now don't have to be until 9.

Now I'm on a mission to figure out things to eat for the next week or two. After reviewing my post-op paperwork, I can only eat soft foods for the first week. I figured that anyway, because if this surgery even remotely feels like my last broken nose did, then there's no way in hell I will even want me teeth to touch.

Brian's mom is making me matzo ball soup and I have mashed potatoes on request as well. But I want to have stuff that makes me feel like I'm eating more than just snacks throughout the day. I'm not a good sick person. I hate Jello and my soup intake is quite limited. I was thinking I want mashed cauliflower so I get some veggies in. Any suggestions? I'd be screwed if I ever broke my jaw or something. I'd have to start pureeing pizza.

He did good!!

As I posted earlier, I knew Brian was up to something. I thought I had it all figured out. Maybe not down to specifics but enough that I knew he was up to something. Boy, was I wrong.

Thursday, I had lunch with Brian's mom at a really good restaurant in Timonium. A few hours later, Brian called me and told me I had to be at the gym by 7pm. What? I can barely walk (thanks to my first BodyPump class Wednesday in which I was unable to get in and out of a car or sit, stand, well, anything that involves any muscle use until Sunday....) and you want me to go to the gym? Are you nuts? He insisted I be there by 7pm and go to the spa. Huh. He's up to something. He scheduled me a massage. It was wonderful. It was 30 minutes so we only did the upper half of my body. That probably was a good choice because I don't know that I could handle her rubbing my still quivering leg muscles. Afterwards we went for a bite to eat and headed over to Target because the gift card I got from Brian's parents was starting to burn a whole in my pocket. (Thank you, Brian and Shelley, it will most definitely be put to good use.) Side note, Brian and I got Eddie Bauer water bottles which are freakin' awesome. Its amazing how I actually want to drink the water out of them.

Ok, back to the story. Friday morning, Brian got up before me. At some point he left four cards in the bed. Three were from the kids and one was from Brian. It was addressed to "Birthday Girl" and said something along the lines of, "No surprise party. No Amicci's. Pack your bags, we're going on a surprise weekend getaway!" Dammit. I never saw that coming. I was excited to say the least. The only thing I knew was that we were going someplace "cool" temperature wise. I'm always freezing, so trying to figure out what to pack for a weekend when you have no idea where you are going is a little tough. Eventually we were all packed up and started driving west. On the way, Brian read every street sign on the way there. "Maybe we're going to Turf Valley. Maybe we're going to Frederick. Maybe we're going to Charles Town. Maybe we're going to Harrisburg." He could tell I was getting aggravated and loved every minute of it.

A little after 4pm, we pulled up to the Old Waterstreet Inn in the historic section of Winchester, VA. It was a very nice house. Brian chose the Cortland Room for our stay because it was the only room with a porch off it. We had some wine and cheese prior to us going for my birthday supper. We walked to the Pedestrian Mall on Loudon Street (a street only for those walking) which is filled with boutiques, cafes, restaurants, storefronts, etc. We ate at Violino Ristorante Italiano. It was a quaint Italian place owned and run by a family from Northern Italy. We had calamari after hearing good things about it from our Innkeeper. Compliments of the chef, we had a zucchini tart and then our main meal. It was fantastic. I decided to stay on the safe side and order lasagna. Its nothing at all like the lasagna your grandmother makes. This was different. The pasta was green and thin. The meat was delicious....oh, the whole plate was wonderful. I wasn't able to finish it all, but I wish I had a little pocket somewhere that I could have stashed it for the next time I got hungry. (Now, I want to go to Italy on a trip.) The waitress came back to offer us dessert. I'm not a huge fan of Italian desserts, plus I was full to the gills, so I declined. Brian did as well. The waitress asked if there was anything not on the menu they could make me instead? Are you kidding? Who does that? Very nice of them, but I was stuffed. A few minutes later I turned around and the chef and his wife were standing next to me singing me Happy Birthday with a profiterole with chocolate gelato, chocolate sauce and a candle. Maybe I've turned sentimental lately, but for some reason it actually meant a lot that the Chef came out to sing to me, not send a bunch of clapping waiters/waitresses who hate singing to sing to me. Of course, even though I was stuffed I found space for it. It was again, delicious. After that meal, we were full and worn out so we went back to the Inn and chatted a while over wine before going to bed.

The next day, after breakfast, we went to an Apple Harvest Festival. That was supposed to be a short walk to get there. It wasn't. And it was multiplied by the fact my legs and ass still felt like they were going to fall off thanks to BodyPump. It was a cute festival. There were lots of craft vendors and food. Brian was excited about seeing all kinds of apple pies and I think was disappointed he wasn't going to be able to try any of them. We stopped for some lunch on the walk back and ended up back at the Inn for a nap. That night was a blast. We went to a bar called Sweet Caroline's. They had fun bartenders, a really great 80's tribute band and tons of friendly people. We actually met three girls that tried to talk us into moving there. For some reason Brian gave my cell number to the one girl. I'm not sure why. I'm still waiting to call. Maybe she doesn't want to look to eager to talk to me so she's giving it the "three days, I'm not desperate" time before she calls me. Ha! I think she may have found herself a boyfriend that night anyway.

We left Sunday AM after breakfast. The remainder of the day was pretty much uneventful, but relaxing. I have to say this was one of the best birthday presents I've ever gotten and I am extremely impressed that he was able to keep it a secret, yet lead me on that there was something else planned. (Actually, that concerns me a little that he could lie that well even though I knew he was up to something.)

Thank you, Brian. I loved it!!

Its my birthday...

and I'm going on a surprise trip to I don't know where for the weekend!! :0)

I had motivation

but I screwed it up. Brian worked overtime tonight, but went to the gym earlier this morning. I figured after he left I should probably go and workout myself. (I still haven't in a long time...) I got my ass out of the bed (we napped before he went to work) and I got some gym clothes on, packed a clean-up bag and went downstairs. I figured I'd look to see what studio BodyPump was in and that's when I noticed Brian was right. He told me the class was at 6pm. Just like he told me his cycling class was at 9am, when it was really at 930. In the afternoon, I looked at the calendar and I swear it said 630pm. I have no idea where I got that from, but there was no way I was going to make it there in ten minutes. So I didn't go. The schedule for tomorrow shows a class at 6am. I'm more motivated than normal, but I don't think that motivated. I don't know why this gym thing is such a hard step for me. Hell, I used to be the girl always running around playing basketball or soccer or hell anything that had to do with athletics. Now I'm this girl who probably spends more energy coming up with excuses not to go than if I just went and got it over with.

I'm headed to weigh in tomorrow AM. I don't really know what to expect. I guess I'll be about the same. I haven't been counting points but I have definitely turned down some things I normally would have eaten. Like my Subway choice Sunday and tonight I opted for a turkey sub instead of pizza or KFC potato wedges that I really wanted. I've drank LOTS more water. I even counted my waters. I think I'm short one but I think I can squeeze that in tonight before bed. The downfall of that was I was up peeing all damn night. Now I remember why I don't drink water.

I guess I should go be a little more productive before I go to bed. Laundry's being done, but the garbage needs to be taken around. Ugh, Monday night is the day I really miss Brian when he's not here.

Symbols

All the years I've done WW, I've been told I need a symbol to remind me why I'm on the plan. Handed out by different leaders have been doublemint gum (I don't remember the symbolism of that one), a marble for my pocket so everytime I put my hand in my pocket I remember to eat good (I should have put my hands in my pocket more often), amongst others. I think this afternoon I found the best symbol of all. Guys probably won't understand, but its when lunch time rolls around and its 90 degrees out and your wearing a dress. The symbol? The friction from your thighs rubbing together. I thought I could start a fire. But, it reminded me I have to lose those thighs so instead of ended up at some fast food place and getting chicken fingers and fries, I hauled butt over to Subway for a turkey sub, apples, and water. I did still have a craving after all that food, so I tried for the first time the Whitman's WW English Toffee square. A bit on the small side but it takes so long to chew the toffee that after the two bites it takes to eat it the craving is pretty much over.

I'm trying to be good. I'm not going to lie and say I've been on plan like I said I was going to be. I fell off that wagon when I went to PA for my grandfather's funeral. Then I used the excuse of "I'm studying for the Lt exam." I think I've run out of excuses. I know I have to get on track. I still have to get to the optimum weight for my physical at work in November or December.

So, I've been good today. I'm hoping I can stay on track most of the week. My birthday is on Friday and Brian told me to stash points away for it. All he's told me (which might be a little too much) was that what we're doing will make me happy even if I'm in a crappy mood and there will be BJ's cake, which leads me to believe there will be multiple people there because BJ's doesn't make small cakes. He's been talking about going to Amicci's in Little Italy way too much so I'm sure that ties in somewhere too. I honestly am not even searching for clues but if he doesn't shut his mouth soon, I'm going to figure out whats going on.

Note to Sydney and Ryan

Dear Sydney and Ryan,

Thank you so much for the birthday card and the little gift you snuck in as well. I'm glad you guys know me so well---that coupon will be put to good use on something I absolutely love.

Love,
Aunt Sarah

Let's celebrate

I'm a dork. Brian wanted to take me out last night to celebrate passing my exam. We went back and forth about where we were going to go, who has the best drink specials, who has the best bartenders and finally decided to go to Bill Bateman's. We sat down at the bar, each ordered a drink and some appetizers. After finishing my drink the bartender asked if I wanted another and I told her I'd wait a bit. She offered a soda and I graciously accepted a delicious Diet Pepsi. We finished eating and then I said, "I want to leave. I want to go to the library." What!? Did I just say that out loud? The library? Yes, yes I did.

Brian was all for it. (We must both be dorks.) My celebration that night was to go to the library and get books that had nothing to do with supervising or policies that we don't even follow at work. We came home and I think I was asleep by 10 or 1030. It was a good night. (I must be getting old.)

Today I had a few appointments. One where I found out wonderful news----my medicine causes my appetite to decrease. That's awesome. I noticed I haven't been eating as much. Like the other day when my supper consisted of a small piece of brownie. And some milk---I needed some dairy. Or yesterday at the bar when the thought of things I normally love repulsed me. Now, don't get me wrong I had no problem finishing off some crab dip and curly fries, but my normal favorite of chicken just didn't do it for me. Wanting pizza every few hours is a thing of the past. Even as I type this, I know I should eat something because its past supper time but I have no idea what. Hopefully this will benefit me in the WW department. The doctor also told me with my new dose of medicine I will be more active and actually want to go to the gym. We'll see. I hope so. I do kinda have the urge to walk. Brian doesn't like me going around new neighborhoods by myself so I'm thinking I may go to the mall or something. (Good excuse to go to the mall, huh?)

So, now I'm sitting here bored out of my mind. I have nothing I have to do. And because of that I'm going half crazy.

The cats are doing well. They are getting along well and Mattingly now hides in our boxspring all the time. (The fabric was ripped from my dogs when I had them.) She sleeps in a piece of fabric that is still connected to the frame like its her personal hammock. I hate to tell her sooner or later she is probably going to be a little fatty and she's not going to fit on that little piece of fabric.

Ok, I've decided to go to the mall for an hour or two and burn off some steam. Then I'll have a few hours to read before bed. I have a feeling I'm going to be bored out of my mind tomorrow. But, that's okay. Tomorrow is my last shift until October 8th!!

This one will be short and sweet.

I passed my Lt. exam! Now, we're off for a drink. And maybe the library so I can eventually read a book that doesn't have to do with supervision or policies we don't follow at work.

Just call us Mommy and Daddy!

We didn't mention it to a lot of people but we adopted a new baby girl. Her name is Mattie. She's adorable as all babies are. She looks so peaceful when she's sleeping. We can't wait for the kids to meet her this weekend. We didn't say anything to them about it just in case it didn't work out, but it did. And come Saturday they are going to be so surprised....I can't wait.

Oh, wait. Did I mention our baby girl is a kitty? Oh yeah. She's our beautiful little furball. We adopted her last night. We decided to get her because Baxter's not always so pleasant with the kids. He doesn't want to play and he's not fond of them petting him. The kids always complain they want a pet that likes them. I had a rough time deciding if we should get one. We've been talking about it for months now. But we have officially ruled out a dog for the next few years so the cat was a winner.

Last night was a little rough at their introduction. There was hours of hissing and puffy tails, but by this afternoon they were playing together. Right now Baxter is chasing her up and down the stairs. I think they'll get along just fine. Baxter is acting all motherly, watching her every move. I'm just scared the cat is going to fall through the steps (we have open "Brady Bunch" steps going upstairs). As for the kids we aren't telling them anything til they find Mattie on their own.

Mattie got her name because we thought she was going to be a boy. Brian and I decided to name the boy cat Mattingly after my grandfather and his NY Yankees nickname. So, even though she's a girl, we still named her Mattingly, but we call her Mattie, too.

I'm so tired of studying. I should be doing more than I have been but I'm getting so bored doing it. I have tonight, tomorrow at work and Tuesday to finish. After that its game over. The test is Wednesday morning.

I weighed in last week, but I definitely haven't been counting points until today. I've been good so far today. I do so much better when I cook. Its just hard to get motivated some days to cook when there are so many good places to eat around here. Tonight I made a really awesome chicken. Its a WW recipe---skillet BBQ chicken. It was super easy. It was chicken breast brushed with BBQ sauce and topped with shredded pepperjack cheese, real bacon bits, and chopped green onions. It was only 6 points. Brian really liked it too. Its one of those meals you can't wait til it tomorrow at lunch time so you can eat it again. If anyone wants the recipe, let me know.

Ok, enough procrastination. I have got to get back to studying. :(