Lesser of two evils?

The doc wants me to try yet another medicine, Amitiza. I'm all for anything that will keep things moving in my belly. I started to read about it this morning, only to find out the side effects are the equivalent of the flu and chest pains. How wonderful is that?

So, my options are:

• Don't poop for weeks at a time and deal with basically IBS symptoms everyday
• Or, twice a day for 2-3 hours after taking my meds I can have the
  "flu," chest pains, shortness of breath, and fluid retention in my hands, but poop like a champ

They both sound like winners.

What am I thinking? Maybe I just need to start smoking a pack a day and drinking coffee non-stop. I think that get everything moving along just fine.