Wednesday, February 27, 2008
Oh, and yippee! Spell check is working again!
Tuesday, February 26, 2008
My "I'm tired and want to be sleeping but the citizens of this county won't let me so this will be the topic of the night" post
The topic of the night: trust. I found out this weekend I have two friends I didn't even really know I had. These are the kind of friends that show up at your door with two 6 packs of ice cold beer in tow when you're having a bad day. They sit and listen to your drama and then give you their input and somehow make it all seem a little better. For the first time in a long time I wasn't worried about talking. I wasn't worried something would be used against me. I wasn't worried how it would be taken. I knew that I could say whatever I needed to say and move on. I knew what I had to say or vent about was going no further than us. I got to tell them things only a very select few (primarily family, Laura and Brian) know about. I found two friends that I actually trust. And I'm excited about that.
Now, on the other hand.....how do you know when that trust has been taken advantage of? We've all told those little white lies, but what about something big? Saying something hurtful or possibly dangerous you swore you wouldn't? Or for that matter, not saying something when you know you should?
Theres all kinds of "trust breaking." I just watched something on News Channel 8 this afternoon about a guy who I think worked at a school --- very respected, everyone loved and trusted him, and then it comes out that he sexually assaulted a 12 year old. Hes the kinda guy that you look at and say, "he would never do that, he'd never hurt anyone, especially a kid," but he did. How do you accept that? I look back at my life and think about some of the trust bonds I've broken. I didn't understand when I was younger why my parents were so mad at me when I got caught at a party I wasn't supposed to be at. Of course, I lied. I told them I wasn't there when they confronted me. But, they knew I was and new I was lying. They had proof. They told me they couldn't trust me to tell the truth. They said if I just told them the truth right off the bat when they confronted me, I would have been in less trouble then if lied and denied. That year I got in trouble for lying, not for being at the party. I was grounded from November until May or June.
I had a friend recently who I thought I very much respected and trusted (and vice versa, of course)--I was wrong. That friend abused that trust between us and then lied when confronted, very much like I did to my parents when I was 15 and at the party I wasn't supposed to be at. This one incident has caused me to look back at our entire friendship and pick it to pieces. Were my deep dark secrets between us not really secrets? How many people know about what we talked about? Were our conversations not as sincere as I thought they were? Was this person telling me what I wanted to hear then talk the opposite when I wasn't around? Were the stories they said they had about me with other people the "whole" story or just the parts I'd want to hear/know of course, to spare my feelings, I'm sure. Let me tell you, I haven't felt hurt like that in a long time. Actually it feels worse than hurt. I felt (I guess still do) naive and stupid and well, disrespected. And I don't even like that word....its way overused. But it sucked---I'm not even sure what sucks more. Being hurt or re-evaluating an entire friendship for its validity. Now I'm left wondering if this incident ruined us. Is our friendship over? Can I ever look at this person the same way again? Is there any chance of gaining that trust back and if so how does that happen? Or, does this turn into one of those friendships that get tossed aside like so many others in our lives? The problem I'm having now in dealing or I guess trying to deal with this issue is that no matter how mad I am, I still deep down value our friendship. I want to go back to how we were, but then I think about the issue that got me all upset and I go back to wanting never to speak to them again. I'm hoping it passes. I wish I could be my parents and "ground" them. Punish them so they learn their lesson, you know?
K, I'm done thinking. I should be a philosopher because I overthink myself to nauseum...ask Brian. I dont know if thats even a word. . :) ha. Anywho, WW this week....well, it was bad then I did pretty well for the weekend. I had a touch of the sick thing going on this weekend, so I didn't overindulge in anything food wise. Maybe I'll do a meeting Tuesday or Wednesday. I pray I finally got to 5lbs!!
Big news though: Im at work and wearing my little girl uniform pants. And they fit and they're comfortable even while sitting. I'm super-duper excited. And my ass looks pretty good in them too. HA.
K, I gotta go on a call :( Somedays I really hate 911.
Thursday, February 21, 2008
Wednesday, February 20, 2008
The basement is coming along, but I swear this is not the color paint I picked out. But after spending lots on it, its going to stay this color. We opted not to carpet the basement...we found laminate tiles (pergo tiles) for less than $3/sq ft which was cheaper than the carpet we were looking at. I should have the basement completely painted by tomorrow, then the flooring goes in eventually.
We still have to decide what we're doing with our room but that will come with time.
Tuesday, February 19, 2008
I remember when I was a teenager, the phone in my house didn't ring more than two times before my sister or I answered. We didn't have caller ID---we had no idea who it was before picking it up. Now, if I even get my lazy ass up to check the caller ID , I rarely answer the phone. Oh, then theres the calls to the cell I never hear because I forget to turn the ringer back on when I get in the house. On the flip side, I can't complain, really because I call no one. Email and text messages, baby. We've come to live in such an inpersonal lifestyle and again, its pathetic.
I talked to someone yesterday who was one of my closest friends in college. He and I talked and/or saw each other every single day--actually, we probably talked to each other on the phone at least 3 times a day. College being what it is, we all eventually found our "soulmates" got married and moved away. And, along with moving away went our communication. Its been forever since I actually last saw this person and a phone conversation? Yeah, I can't even tell you. Its been that long.
Same goes with my best friend, Laura. We spent, I swear, almost every waking minute together when we were younger. The phones were attached to our ears. We get to see each other a few times a year now, but our phone conversations went from a few times a day to a few times a month. Texting and emailing has replaced a lot of that.
My excuse for no phone calls/visits (besides the fact that most of my friends live forever and a day away)? Maybe they're busy. Or sleeping. Watching a movie---no one likes being interrupted during a movie. Or maybe they're going to want to talk for like two hours. I don't have two hours to talk, so instead of telling them I can't talk that long, I just won't call at all. Then there's the "you never call" conversation, which ironically the person complaining that the other never calls, usually never picks up the phone and dials either.
Now don't get me wrong, a lot of communication can be made through an email. Sometimes its better than a phonecall----no emotions thrown in, just the cut and dry facts. But, then there's the all the stuff we're lacking in emails. The actual communication---back and forth communication. Emails doesn't usually happen in real time, so there's a time lag. Then, theres no real opinions interjected, and lets be honest, some emails, like mine, are usually so long and have questions throughout that the reader probably only remembers to answer 2 or 3 of them leaving all my others unanswered.
So while technology is great, I wonder sometimes how much better life would be without it. I think I'd be more involved in peoples lives. Maybe I wouldn't have to "schedule" a time to talk. I'd actually call friends on the phone and maybe during that conversation we'd decide last minute we were hungry and wanted to meet in 15 minutes at a diner and have a nice afternoon. But instead, 26 hours after I sent an email, someone will find out that we decided on painting the girls bedroom purple---oh, Laura, by the way, the girls bedroom is going to be purple, and the flooring in Brandon's room turned out really nice. :)
Monday, February 18, 2008
The boxes are freakin' heavy. They're not heavy like, ugh, I can't lift this heavy but its very compact so its just cumbersome. It was only when I determined each box to be 27 pounds did I realize how much of a favor I did to my body by losing weight. This morning, I could barely tolerate holding the box of flooring for two minutes before I got "tired." And carrying it up the steps to get to the scale? Yeah, no chance I'd be doing any stair climbing contest with that stuff in tow. 27 pounds and I got tired. To think there was a point in my life where I was carrying around the weight of almost 3 of those boxes ALL THE TIME! Its no wonder I always felt like crap. No wonder going up the stairs sucked.
We all have our frustrations like I did after my WI this morning. Only .2 pounds this week and only .4 pounds another. But I think a lot of us forget all those "onlys" add up and eventually they add up to a crazy annoying box of laminate flooring (so to speak.....). When you feel like your weight loss is nearing non-existant, go pick up a box of kitty litter or a large bag of dog food --- then think about how many "boxes" or "bags" you've been carrying around and then lost. Instead of people saying "I lost 80 pounds," maybe they'll start saying "I lost almost 4 boxes of kitty litter!!"
Spring is almost here. The "Opening March 1st" sign is in Rita's window.
Nothing much more exciting to write now. I'm home from work and super sleepy so its off for nappy time now. Then, time for more painting. Fun, fun!!
Sunday, February 17, 2008
Thursday, February 14, 2008
Tuesday, February 12, 2008
Sunday, February 10, 2008
Anyway, all I can say is, look out for when I'm "less than 160!" That means I'm in the 150s and I haven't seen those numbers (well, from me stepping on the scale) since I played basketball in high school.....so maybe 11 years ago? Thats going to be one of those "ecstatic" milestones.
Also, how supportive of a friend is Anna? That's just awesome. People laugh about my doing WW while some are impressed or envious of the progress I've made over the years, but I've never had a friend that is that supportive to remember a milestone such as that. And being honest, I can't say I'm probably that friend either. But, I do think thats really cool. From what I think I've read in the past they have a little friendly competitioin going on with WW. Good for them. I hope both keep up the good work.
My WW update: I'm so OP its not even funny. I am even impressing myself. Lent is kicking me in the ass....so is that cruise that Bri and I recently booked. How excited are we? Not sure how smart it is to stick a WW "fat girl" on a boat full of buffets. I might need to bring my little girl pants for when we get on and pair of big girl pants for when we get off. Regardless, I'm super excited. I've never been on a cruise before and I can't wait for heat and sun and pools and relaxing!! Just thought of it...I'm going to need a bathing suit! :( I hate shopping to begin with, but thats the worst of them all!
Kinda changing the subject, yesterday, I had to take a girl that got sick at a track meet to the hospital. She had the most amazing legs in the world. Since she was running at the meet, she obviously works works hard, much harder than I'm willing to work, to have legs like that. But, as I was sitting there I couldn't help but wish I could just pop off her legs like Bella does her Barbie doll's legs and then stick them on to my body. :) Kinda gross, but I'd have some hot ass legs!!
Friday, February 8, 2008
Thursday, February 7, 2008
Monday, February 4, 2008
POINTS® Value: 1
Servings: 8 (approx 1/2 c each)
2 large kiwifruit
1 cups strawberries
2 Tbsp apple jelly
2 medium Granny Smith apple(s)
2 Tbsp McNeil Nutritionals Splenda brown sugar blend
1/2 cup Tropicana Light 'N Healthy Orange juice beverage with pulp
Peel/core apples, then dice.
Peel, then dice kiwi.
Slice strawberries to make 1 cup, can dice afterwards if desired.
Put all fruit in bowl
Add OJ, brown sugar and apple jelly to bowl and mix.
Refrigerate til cool.
NOT INCLUDED IN POINT VALUE:Serve with cinnamon/sugar tortilla chips (wet top side of a tortilla and sprinkle w/ cinn/sugar---slice like a pizza then back til crispy @ 350). Or serve over waffles/pancakes instead of syrup.
Banana chocolate chip (bundt cake or bread)
POINTS® Value: 4
4 medium ripe bananas, mashed
3/4 cup Egg Beaters
1 package yellow cake dry mix (18.25 oz box, plain, no pudding type)
3/4 cup semisweet choc. chips
1/3 cup Unsweetened Apple Sauce
Preheat oven to 350.
Combine all ingredients in large bowl then beat--30 seconds on low and then 2 minutes on med speed.
If making bread, pour into 2 greased/floured loaf pans. Bake for 30-35 min.
If making Bundt cake, pour into greased/floured cake pan and bake for 45 minutes.
Remove from oven, let cool 10 minutes. Remove to wire rack to cool completely.
Gnocchi w/ Sausage and Spinach
Adjusted to be WW friendly from a Real Simple recipe
4 svgs/10 points each (per Recipe Builder)
4 serving gnocchi (any should do frozen, dried, etc.)
1 Tbsp olive oil
1 medium onion, chopped
1 pound lean sweet Italian turkey sausage (casings removed)
5-6 oz baby spinach
1/4 tsp kosher salt
1/4 tsp black pepper
3/4 cup reduced-fat parmesan
1 tsp minced garlic
Cook gnocchi according to package directions, reserve 1/4 c cooking liquid. In large pot, heat oil in skillet, add onion saute til soft (5 min). Remove casings from turkey. Crumble sausage and cook til browned, about 5-7 minutes. Add garlic, spinach, salt and pepper and cook tossing frequently until spinach wilts, about 3 minutes. Add drained gnocchi, the reserved cooking liquid and the Parmesan. Mix everything together, divide among 4 bowls.
Mom's Wimpies (sloppy joes)
8 svgs; 4 points each (not counting bun)
(I think it makes more than 8 svgs---I usually eat on small roll, so I get more servings. If you use Kaiser/hard roll I think the 8 svgs would be more accurate.)
2 pounds raw 93% lean ground turkey
1 medium onion, chopped
12 oz chili sauce (get plain, not zesty or anything)
1 Tbsp Worcestershire sauce
1 Tbsp Splenda
1 tsp yellow mustard
Brown meat. Combine all other ingredients then mix w/ meat. Heat til warm. Serve on roll. (Roll not counted in points value).
1-2 points depending on size of apple
1 apple (I use Granny Smith)
Spray butter (ICBINB)
1 or 2 packets Splenda (or sugar, about 1/2 - 1 tea)
1tsp cinnamon (or to taste)
Peel and core the apple. Put in small bowl then spray top and inside of apple with a few sprays of butter spray. Sprinkle with Splenda/sugar and cinnamon. Microwave for 3 minutes
To make it taste like Apple pie, top with some FF vanilla frozen yogurt. Add the points, though.
4 points, 1 svg
Really fast/easy and the protein/fiber keeps me full.
1 multi grain Light English muffin (or any 1 point English muffin)
2 patties (1 svg) Jimmy Dean turkey breakfast sausage
Toast the muffin and microwave the 2 patties for 35 seconds. Spray some butter spray on muffin, add the sausage and enjoy. (I add a little ketchup too.)
Chicken Marsala (from WW.com)
POINTS® Value: 4
Preparation Time: 15 min
Cooking Time: 18 min
Level of Difficulty: Moderate
2 tsp olive oil
1 cup mushroom(s), fresh, sliced
1 pound uncooked boneless, skinless chicken breast, four 4 oz pieces
1 tsp dried thyme
1/2 tsp table salt
1/4 tsp black pepper
1/2 cup wine, Marsala variety
1 1/4 cup canned beef broth, reduced-sodium, divided
1 1/2 Tbsp cornstarch
Heat oil in a large skillet over medium-high heat. Add mushrooms and sauté until tender and releasing liquid, about 5 minutes. Meanwhile, place chicken on a plate and season both sides with thyme, salt and pepper. Move mushrooms to outer edge of skillet once cooked. Place chicken in center of skillet and sauté until golden, about 2 to 3 minutes per side. Add wine to skillet; simmer 1 minute. Add 3/4 cup of broth and simmer, uncovered, until chicken is tender and cooked through, about 8 minutes. Dissolve cornstarch in remaining 1/2 cup of broth in a small bowl; add to skillet. Simmer until sauce thickens, stirring constantly and incorporating mushrooms into the liquid, about 1 minute. Serve chicken with mushroom sauce spooned over top. Yields about 3 ounces of chicken and 1/3 cup of sauce per serving.
We went to a friend of Brian's house for their Super Bowl party. It was fun and I think Brian really enjoyed it. Its the first time in many years that he got to hang out with his old friends. I got to meet some people he talks about all the time and he seemed genuinely excited to be there. It was a little awkward for me....I'm not exactly a social butterfly that can talk to anyone and get them to talk back. I'm very jealous of people that can do that. I did make friends with one lady, but unfortunately it was next to the crockpot full of some sort of delicious creamy sausage dip. We claimed it as ours. :)
The crockpot full of yummy dip got me thinking about Amy's blog and her request for crockpot recipes. Today, I'm extremely lazy---I don't even want to go out to the store. Since its garbage day I cleaned out the fridge/freezer and came across some frozen country ribs and a 3/4 full bottle of light BBQ sauce. I decided to lug out the ol' crockpot and whip up some BBQ ribs. I went on and on to Amy about how great a crockpot is, but realized I haven't used it in forever. With all the projects we're working on around the house, especially in the upcoming weeks, I think I'm going to try to use it a little more. Cooking will be one less thing I'll have to worry about, plus its an almost guarantee of leftovers for lunch the next day! And it will save a little $$----no ordering bad for you carryout while you're up to your ears in paint!
If you have any good crockpot recipes, either post or email to email@example.com
Saturday, February 2, 2008
Tomorrow Bri and Brandon are finishing the painting in Brandon's room and pulling out the carpet. The laminate may get started tomorrow or sometime this week. Then we move onto the girls room. The basement still looks like a "volcano" per Taylor. Interesting, I thought it was looking better.