OK, I'm going to try to make this quick because I'm super tired. Its been a crazy couple of days. Brian's son, Brandon, is in the hospital. He got sick earlier in the week, with what we all thought was just a virus. But, now its turned into a GI (Gastrointestinal)bleed. We thought it was on the mend Thursday night after a trip to the local ER but apparently we were all wrong because he started vomiting and pooping blood. We met him and his mom at the ER again this morning for him to end up getting transferred to Children's Hospital in DC. We (Brian and I and Brandon's mom and her boyfriend) spent the next umpteen hours watching various movies on AMC (and watching Brandon sleep) while Mom-Mom and Zaidey (sp?) people watched in the waiting room. Brandon himself is doing fine. Well, besides the puking and pooping, but he's not in any pain, he's just really tired and worn out. And starving because he wasn't allowed to eat. The pooping and puking finally stopped, but then he later developed a rash and some swelling to his face for no real reason. I think it was close to 2am when we finally got a decent doctor in to talk to us. She feels this is probably a blood issue as compared to a GI issue or virus so tomorrow AM a hematologist will be in to evaluate him and look at his blood smear under the microscope to give his input. Brandon finally got admitted around 4am. Brian is staying the night down there. He kicked me out. Well, he wanted me to get him some toiletries and clothes but also some sleep because I have a tendency to get cranky when tired. The doctor feels he's going to be okay and doesn't think he'll need a transfusion or anything, but at the same time they aren't really able to pinpoint what is wrong with him. He's got quite a few symptoms and they just aren't all fitting together. Hopefully tomorrow we'll have some more answers.
WW pretty much went out the window yesterday. I'm frustrated with that (not WW, the fact that I fell off the wagon) but its very difficult right now with Brandon. We've been unexpectedly in the hospital off and on and we've had to make do with vending machines and McDonald's for the most part. I"m hoping tomorrow will be more normal. I was supposed to work tonight into tomorrow afternoon but had to find someone to work so I could be at the hospital. Needless to say my schedule is all outta whack. In my meeting this week my leader gave us marbles to carry with us. I have one blue marble that's supposed to act as my anchor and remind me to stay on plan. Yeah, damn marble was in my pocket. My hand didn't go in my pocket before I bought the Babe Ruth bar or before I ate the leftover pizza at 4am. There's always tomorrow. Maybe I'll make it a ring or something. I'll see it as I'm about to fill my face.
And don't take what I'm about to write negatively, but there is a certain degree of uncomfortableness (if that's even a real word) while sitting in the hospital. Obviously, Brandon isn't my son, so sitting there with you boyfriend, who's dad, and his ex, who's mom, her boyfriend and then sicko Brandon, it creates some awkward moments. I couldn't help but stare at Brandon's mom quite a bit. I could see her eyes well up with tears. I realized tonight that I have never in my life felt anything like that. I love Brian's kids, but its not a mothers love. They love me back, but there is just that something that only "Mommy" can give you. Can't blame them. Oh well...its almost 445am so I better get some sleep. I have to head back to the hospital in a few hours.
1 comment:
Don't worry Sarah. Like your post said, they have their "mommy" and a mother's love. They don't need that from you too. They get something different from you. You enjoy being with them AND with their father. You make each other happy. And all little kids want their parents to be happy. And that is something that they need that only YOU can provide.
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