how did I deal with my emotions? Well...I ate. But, before you give me an, "ahhh, Sarah....." hear me out. So early on yesterday I told Brian we'd need to go to happy hour--supposedly to get my mind off things. Happy hour for us used to be just that. Happy. But somehow it turned into this sad hour (or hours) where food and drink made us feel better. Or so we thought.
Around 4pm, we went to the bar, found a seat and ordered some appetizers and a beer. Harmless. We ordered a second drink. It went down, but not as smooth. It occured to me, I had no desire to drink. What used to be a "fun" event for Brian and I has turned into something depressing and it wasn't going to change anything. I still was going to be sad. It wasn't a coping mechanism. If it did anything, it was just going to make me pee. I ended up drinking fountain Diet Pepsi from that point on, which I found so much more refreshing anyway.
We had some appetizers. When Brian and I go out for Happy Hour (when we're happy) we don't order meals, we just get appetizers. It used to be our special date night so we didn't think about the crap we were eating, we just enjoyed it. Now don't get me wrong. I ate my fair share of junk last night. It made me feel better for a while. But it still didn't change anything. And unlike our "happy" hours, I felt guilty about it later. Our old happy hours used to be our "free" day back when we didn't eat crap. I don't know what we used to eat, but it was something that kept us skinny! LOL.
So, what made me feel better? Going home and watching TV in bed with Brian and having him whisper, "Goodnight peanut" in my ear. If I could just realize I'm going to feel guilty about what I'm eating BEFORE I eat it, I think I'd do a lot better.
1 comment:
We are creatures of habit. It takes eight weeks to break a habit. Eight hard, tough, seemingly impossible weeks, supposedly once you get past eight weeks a new habit is created and an old one broken. It sounds so easy but it is not. Sometimes I wish that overeating were seen in the same light by society as anorexia, maybe then we could get the help we need.
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