Regaining my focus.

I've got another successful day under my belt. I'm a few points over, but nothing to worry about. That's why the extra 35 are there, right?

Can I tell you about my night? Of course I can. I'm doing the typing here. So, I was a little bummed. I had a hair appointment at 4pm and nothing to do afterward. I was ravenous, but I figured if I ate supper that early, I'd be scrounging for something later in the evening. I stopped at the convenient store and bought a string cheese and a nut & fruit granola bar. (Yeah me!) I went to Home Goods and TJ Maxx for a while. 630pm came and I was super bummed. No one wanted to go to eat with me. Everyone was busy or didn't answer their phone or was working.... I started feeling sad for myself then thought, screw it. I'm taking myself out on a date.

Where did we (I) go? Chickfila. I avoided pizza because if I got it I'd eat too much. I avoided pasta places because I was craving Alfredo and weight loss and Alfredo don't mix well together. Yes I was there yesterday, but I decided Chickfila was best because I knew the points value of the food, it would fill me up, and well, it was downright delicious. (NOTE: If you are without child, do not pick the table next to the play area door unless you want to be a volunteer door opener, babysitter, and "don't touch that" person.)

Then what? I was over feeling bad for myself. I was taking full advantage of my free time. Some people may choose massages or something like that when they have a free moment. Me? I went to Borders. I spent hours there. I wandered. I read. I decided to be cliche because I was in a book store so I ordered a hot drink. Their drinks are hot. Ask my right hand after I spilled green tea on it. (I don't know if they had a "hot" designation on my cup. Maybe I should sue. Barnes, Noble and Sarah has a nice ring to it.) I bought a book. I found out they make Little Golden books again so I shopped again and bought some more. And when I was all done, I realized hours had gone by. At no point was I hungry. I never once thought of food, even when ordering my tea and all kinds of sweets were staring me in the face.

What have I learned? I've lost focus. When money got tight, I stopped going out. I stopped going places where I could potentially spend money. But being so focused on trying to save or re-allocate our money led me to lose focus on me. A day I used to look forward to so much (Brian's shift) turned into just another lazy day where I did nothing. I stopped doing things I liked to do. Because we more comfortable financially doesn't mean I can go spend money like crazy. It does allow me to have a day every now and again where I can take myself on a date. Overall, though, this experience has taught me to always keep some focus on myself. I need that for my overall health. I need to get out. Maybe next time it will be a library, or a book club, or some community program. But, this battle with weight is so much more than food and exercise. Its about overall well-being. I can't forget that or I will not win this battle.