Monday, June 28, 2010

Wednesday @ 2pm

I have my first appointment with a psychotherapist the deals with food addiction. I was going to call the place Chuck initially suggested but to be honest, I chickened out. I know I shouldn't judge a place by a website, but its depressing. Plus, I'd rather not do an inpatient thing if I can help it. I'm not going to say I'm completely against it, but I don't feel like I'm that bad. Maybe I am. I don't know.

Anyway, I found a woman who is ironically the MIL of one of my co-workers. I'm not really a shy person, so I could care less if he finds out I'm going to see MIL. The advantage to seeing her is she knows our work schedule and she works on a stress management team for another local department. Ironically, I was supposed to join our stress management team for our department (to be run by my old partner) but I had to back out. I figure I have to help myself before I can help anyone else.

There's a sense of relief now that I've made my appointment. There's a huge black hole of fear that I'm afraid to enter. Not so much of therapy itself, but what is going to be drawn out of it. What is it that caused or causes me to turn to food instead of an issue head on? A HUGE fear of mine is that I'll always be this way. I know I should be more optimistic. I guess I gotta let the lady do her job and figure me out.

2 comments:

Shelley said...

I want to say "good luck", but luck has nothing to do with this. Your inner strength will get you through this and they will help you to achieve a positive attitude. You can do it and we are all behind you cheering you on!

Anonymous said...

YAY I AM SO EXCITED FOR YOU. I know how hard that step was to admit you have a problem but the next one, doing something about it I think is just as hard. Congrads on this step, you are going down the right path. We can DO THIS!