Therapy was good. I liked the counselor. Her SIL works for the same department as I, and her husband retired from the fire department. That in itself makes it worth going to her.
I spent most of the time talking. She explained that addictions are coping mechanisms that are usually seeded when we are young. She said I get triggers which depress me and leads me to want to eat. Thats the psychological part of it. The physiological part of it is when that thought enters my head it causes dopamine to release and the biological "need" kicks in.
Anyway, its not about what causes the issue....its now about finding new coping mechanisms and addressing the issues that cause the want to eat in the first place. Its very much the same kind of stuff that is talked about in WW meetings, but on a much more personal level.
She brought up issues with my dad. Almost immediately I got that uncomfortable feeling in my belly and my first thought was food to make it better. I was so frustrated. There I am in therapy and I think I need to eat.
We didn't get to touch on a lot, but I did ask her for a tip/trick to get me through the next week. She asked, "what happens when you are about to binge?" I explained, "I know its coming and once it starts I can't stop." She told me that this may not stop the binge, she wants me to keep paper around to write down what I'm feeling at the time I realize I want to binge. I've had people tell me to journal my feeling after eating or my hunger before eating, but I've never tried this approach. She said it should help pinpoint my triggers, such as being sleepy, frustrated, in pain, etc., and then we can work on those triggers.
Her feelings? I probably have narcissitic daddy issues (duh!) and lots of things during my day remind me of him or a way he's treated me in the past. She said I get frustrated with others because they are too passive and it reminds me of people I was close to when younger (family, probably) who didn't stand up for themselves and allowed themselves to get walked on and abused. Interesting. All that in fifty minutes. How bout that.
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Oh, and she said the shrink I'm going to sucks. Gave me a name for another. I'm at the point, though, as most people on an antidepressant are, where I'm wondering, do I really need the meds? Maybe therapy will help and I won't need anything.
So frustrating.
wow this lady is good. Hopefully she will go into detail about your whole situation with your dad. What he now does for a living and how it impacts you and your life. I think that is a one of the many chapters of problems that you have with your dad, might not be the main issue but its in there. I am so glad this lady is good. She sounds like she is going to help.This is great.
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