13

Definitely not a lucky number. Actually a very unlucky number. Especially 13.8. I stepped on the scale this afternoon when we finally made it home. Now this isn't an official WW weigh-in, but my scale is usually pretty accurate---sometimes even a little less than WW's, but the point being I gained at least 13.8 pounds since February 27. That's 13.8 pounds in less than two months. I can make all the excuses I want: stress beyond belief, no exercising, the cruise. But its just pathetic. I've come so far with my weight loss and now I'm back to 180. I told myself I wasn't going above 170, but I slowly (quickly) let it creep back in.

On the bright side, I've got a good attitude about it. Probably the best I've had in years. Probably since the first time I lost when I started at 240 pounds. This has been a pretty big wake up call for me. Its proven, yet again, I'm not one of those girls who can just eat and be skinny. I either have to eat better, exercise more or both. Probably both is a good answer. No matter what, I really want this. Not want this because I should lose, but because I really want to. I have suddenly a different outlook on things. While at Brian's grandparents house, even though it was less than a full 24 hours, we talked quite a bit with his grandfather. We went to the Chinese buffet (quite possibly the best one I've ever been to) and while Brian and I scarfed down our food because that's what we're used to doing, we watched Pop-pop enjoy every single bite. Granted we were there for about 2 hours (or so it seemed) but it was very enjoyable. I listened to him talk about how he eats a fruit platter every day for lunch and how he walked every day. It made me realize its not much different than my own grandparents. They took care of themselves and they are living very full lives in their 80s with relatively no medical problems.

I've realized this isn't about looking good. This is about being healthy. I need to go to the doctor and follow up with them. I need to eat well so I can live a long healthy life. I have a family now and want to be sure I can keep up. I don't want to look 60 when I'm 40. My job ages people, especially women, horribly. I want to be oddball. I want to look my age of 44 (or younger) when I retire. I want to make it to retirement after 20 years, not because of an injury after just 5 or 10.

So, this is for me. WW and working out. Its going to be some work, but I've got the best attitude I've had in years, honestly. I'm looking forward to it. I just hope I have support and encouragement on my bad days.

And with that, I'm off to eat Pizza Casserole (WW Friendly) so Brian can go pick up our luggage which was left behind at BWI. Adios!