Thursday, July 15, 2010

Seriously? How bad could bad news be?

There's this girl, D, I know from years ago while I was in college. We weren't exactly friends at the time but we hung out in the same circle. Actually she's one of those people I look at now, about ten years later, and wonder, "how are we still in contact with each other?" I guess its because we have mutual friends. I don't know all of the details of her life but she was always encapsulated by a drama bubble. There was always something going on.

Anyway, with Facebook, we stayed in contact with each other but I have to say it's a weird relationship. Like a weird online dating relationship. LOL. She and I could message each other back all day long about everything under the sun, but if you were to put us in a room together it would probably be super awkward and we'd have nothing to talk about. But, I saw her grow up over the years. She's got two sons by two different fathers. I saw her marry and divorce. She grew up and got her shit together and get a job to support herself while going to school. I'm a few years older than her and I guess I always looked at her like she had a lot to offer but didn't take advantage of it--she got sucked up into her environment. I guess I felt kinda like mini-mom to her. Not that she came to me for a lot but I always had encouraging, "there-there," words for her and just hoped she'd get herself together.

A few weeks ago I got a message from her saying she got a job at a hospital near my house and was looking to move in the area. She said she and her sort of boyfriend (baby daddy) were splitting up and they were both going to have separate apartments in the same general location. I recommended a few places and a few days later she wrote back saying she found a spot and we'd meet up. She told me she was starting nursing school and I can honestly say I was quite proud of her. She wasn't taking the easy way out---she was doing what she had to do for her sons.

A few days later, I was out with my bridesmaid, Melissa (a mutual friend), and Melissa received a text saying they (Melissa & her husband and this girl and her boyfriend) had to meet up to talk about something important. D wouldn't say what the issue was---Melissa poked and proded but D wouldn't budge. The only thing we knew (and I don't know D knew I was with Melissa) was that she wasn't pregnant and wasn't getting married. A few hours into our day we decided whatever it was--it couldn't be that bad.

That was until we found out what it was. Melissa and her husband met D and her BF. I didn't know the meeting occurred--not that I really needed to be in the know. At that poing, I was more nosey than anything. Anyway, a day later I received a FB message from D that said something along the lines of, "I hate to give you bad news first thing in the morning, but I'm not moving by you. I found out the other day I have breast cancer so XX and I are staying together for now while I start chemo. We're going to rent a townhouse by the hospital where my treatments will be."

Holy shit. Are you effing kidding me? I'm 29 and she's probably 27, maybe younger. She told me she went from she and her baby daddy signing separate leases on apartments, quitting one job and starting another, getting accepted into nursing school and finding out she had breast cancer within 7 days or something crazy like that.

I don't know tons about breast cancer so anything she says is news to me. I did find out its Stage II and they are debating whether she should have a masectomy first, then chemo, or vice versa. Hell, at her age she should be worry about finding a babysitter for her kids so she can have a night out or something, not worry about if she should get her boobs chopped off now or later.

Last night, I got an evite from her to have a "pre-chemo" girls night out at the Melting Pot. Isn't it sad it takes someone having a deadly disease before we can decide to be adults and do something fun like that? It brings tears to my eyes everytime I think about it.

So, any extra prayers can be sent her way. I'm calling her D because I don't know who reads this blog and who knows her and if she's told everyone she wants to. But I'm sure if you talk to God and say you're giving a prayer for D he'll know where to send it.

Oh, and her son's 3rd birthday is today. Her other son is 6 or 7.

1 comment:

Shelley said...

That is a sad story. I hope many years from now she will be able to say she is a cancer survivor.