Let me tell you how much I love my shrink with the bad toupe. I LOVE him. He's fixed me. Well, I don't know if fixed is the word but he's made me feel so much better. You know how good it feels to FINALLY have a doctor listen to YOU? Novel concept, isn't it? He's taken my history of depression and linked it to my hormonal issues. Basically he's saying when one worsens, so does the other which, he feels, explains why everything seemed to fall apart at the same time for me.
He thinks I'm bipolar II....so I get the lows (more anger/frustration than sadness) but don't get the mania. Its more of a mood disorder, as he described it to me. He lowered my dose of antidepressants because he thinks they have wiped me clean of any emotion and started me on a med that is actually used a lot for seizure patients. He said it will help the "neuron connections" in my brain which will calm my anger/frustration issues. Has it ever. I don't claim to know the physiology behind it all, but Lord knows its working. Brian said I'm back to joking around and being myself. I know that I feel like I can take on half the world---not the whole thing yet---baby steps. I'm just so happy to feel emotions--good and bad---again. That one commercial on TV for Seroquel...the one where the people "blend" in with the background. God, is it accurate. Its like you're there but you aren't. Like there's supposed to be a button you push to feel or show an emotion but you can't find it.
You know what's even better? I don't feel like I have to eat all the time. I started using sparkpeople.com to track my food intake because I was cheating on WW too much and I'm actually eating only about 1400-1900 calories a day now. Some times, I have to remind myself to eat. There's days where emotion takes over a little when I'm really pissed off. Or like last night when we were drinking with the neighbors. I wasn't drunk by any means, but I felt like I had to eat so I did a job on Dominos. There's still going to be some habits/traditions that need broken. I also have been faithful about drinking water. That has been a life saver. Its amazing how full water keeps you. Now, if I could just stop peeing......
1 comment:
Sarah-
Just caught a link to your blog from Gallimaufry Photography. Your note said you were having some fertility problems, then I read your blog from today. I encourage you to visit your local chiropractor. We do a lot to treat the nervous system to make sure your brain is able to communicate to your ovaries when it is time to ovulate and tell your thyroid and your adrenals when and how much hormone they should release.
Also, I'd like to say though I don't know you, I'm really glad you were able to find help from a therapist. I dated a boy for 2 years that was severely biopolar, like didn't leave bed for 3 weeks at a time, wouldn't eat, wouldn't talk then would spend days at a time bouncin off the walls. Unfortunately, he quit counseling, but it had been doing wonders for him. Keep it up! Don't lose the faith :) Oh and congratulations on the engagement!
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