When I moved away from home I left behind some of my closest friends. I assumed friendship would come easily, but I found out over the past twelve years, thats not really the case. Don't get me wrong....I had some wonderful friends over the years, but few were the kind of friend that you could call last minute for a favor or someone you could just walk in their house unannounced. Years ago, Marshall and I had great neighbors who were just that. We'd bounce from house to house, literally jumping decks sometimes, but when we moved on to our next house, it seemed like we all moved on with our lives as well. They divorced, just as we did, and we haven't been in touch much since but I'll never forget memories like our trip to Nashville, tailgaiting at concerts, hanging out at the beach, and taking care of each others pets.
About six years past and I wasn't able to kindle a friendship quite like that. I'm happy to say now, we (Brian and I) have been able to do so with our new neighbors. They are the kind of people you call in a pinch. They'll do ANYTHING for you. We send our kids to their house and they send theirs to ours. They are exactly what we hoped for in neighbors, and now friends. Their house is a full one. Its kind of like the house for wayward souls. The "parents" have let their kids move in and out and have always been supportive no matter the circumstances. Its a relationship I envy.
Its funny how friendship works. I don't want to think I'm high and mighty or better than anyone else, but I guess no matter how much I say that, the truth is I have judged people, one being my neighbor's daughter. She's had a troubled past, to say the least. When she moved in their house shortly after we moved in I NEVER in a million years thought we'd hit it off. She was had a past with drugs, was in jail and went to rehab. She's scarred and tattooed. She's exactly the kind of person I thought my "clean slate" self would be never be friends with. I can say now, I was wrong. We have turned out to be great friends. I've seen her grow over the past year. She is a great mother and friend. I've learned the story of her past and even if I don't agree with it, I truly understand how she got to where she is. There is no blame or placing fault in the things she's done in her life. She's focused on being a good mom now and its quite apparent.
We have discussed her past addiction and its funny because the scenarios that lead her to use weren't too different than mine. Its just that instead of turning to food or drink to comfort and numb herself, she turned to illegal substances. Her challenges with keeping clean aren't that different than we have with trying eat well and lose weight. She can't go where she used to go. She can't hang out with those she used to hang out with. Wanna talk about a lifestyle change? She's done it.
Will she stay that way? I hope. I hope by being her friend and showing her how good life can be by staying clean will motivate her to do so. Its just ironic how the person I thought I'd never be friends with because of outward presentation really isn't all that different than me.
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